


Sing Along Forever

by JBankai89



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ableism, Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Amputee Remus, Angst and Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Kid Harry Potter, M/M, Poc!James, So much cliche your head will spin, Songfic, elements of songfic, musician sirius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:19:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JBankai89/pseuds/JBankai89
Summary: Quiet, studious English Lit student Remus Lupin is dragged to a Punk Tribute show by one of his close friends. He had no idea what to expect, least of all catching the eye of a handsome singer by the name of Sirius Black.





	1. The Freaks, Nerds, and Romantics

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Everyone has a different definition of what Punk and Hardcore is. This is mine. Debate with it as you will. Factoids and stuff that I couldn't remember offhand are from American Hardcore: A Tribal History by Steven Blush, We've Got The Neutron Bomb: The Untold Story of L.A. Punk by Mark Spitz, and Punk's Not Dead, a documentary by Susan Dynner. If you're into music history at all you MUST watch it because it's epic. Fic title unceremoniously stolen from The Bouncing Souls. I tried to keep this strictly to 70s-early 90s punk and hxc, but some first-wave emo might've snuck in when I wasn't looking. Whoops. The club used in this fic is made up and based on a local venue in my city, set up exactly as it's portrayed in this story. It's fucking boss and I've been to some epic shows in that tiny attic.
> 
> Certain characters I have matured up a little, so they're not the entitled obnoxious little shits they would have been in high school.
> 
> **I want to be clear that a good chunk of the the ableist language in this fic is intended to be internalized ableism/self-esteem issues relating to his lack of able-bodied...ness. If anyone feels I've overstepped that, or represented the character's feelings badly, please point it out to me. It's not intentional, and I will fix it.**

Sing Along Forever

 

Chapter 1 – The Freaks, Nerds, and Romantics

 

_Some say they've been left out_

_I wonder why they still hang around_

_I wonder where all these sure things could be_

_Then I realized that somehow I've found them in me_

_-The Freaks, Nerds, and Romantics – The Bouncing Souls_

 

Remus had no idea what he was doing here.

The place reeked, but Alice seemed to be practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. Stale beer, sweat, and another smell he could not completely identify permeated the air. He'd noticed Alice breathing deeply, taking it all in like it was some sort of religious experience for her.

What was he doing here again?

A tiny London club called Underground, which, ironically, was more or less an attic above a skate shop that Remus had never been to before. Not that this was all that surprising, skateboarding wasn't exactly his thing, and he felt acutely out of place as he looked around.

People varying in age from their late teens to their early forties, nearly all of them in black graphic T-shirts emblazoned with music group names he'd never heard of— _Circle Jerks, Black Flag, The Exploited, The Buzzcocks, The Casualties, Fugazi, Subhumans, The Germs..._ Who on earth _named_ these groups anyway?

“I wanna thank you for coming with me Remus,” Alice said, getting on her toes to speak into his ear. It wasn't particularly loud—at least, not yet, but the music pouring from speakers hidden somewhere in the ceiling made it difficult to speak at a normal level. “I know this isn't really your thing, but with Frank stuck out of town...”

“It's fine,” Remus replied, shoving his hands into his pockets as he gazed anxiously at the low, empty stage. Unlike other concert halls he'd seen, the stage was barely a foot off the ground, meaning the musicians were nearly at eye-level with the attendees. It was barely seven or eight feet across, littered with guitars, a drum set, and large amplifiers stacked one on top of the other.

Alice beamed at him and squeezed his hand once, her hair piled on her head in a messy bun, her own black T-shirt bearing the words, _Minor Threat_. It was unnerving almost, save for the different graphics, it was like a uniform for some kind of cult. Jeans, trainers, black T-shirts. He saw some of the people looked how Remus always pictured Punk Rockers, with tall, brightly coloured mohawks, piercings on places that Remus did not think should be pierced, and tattoos in all colours of the rainbow. Other people however looked no different than him, save for The Uniform.

Remus glanced down at his ticket again, and he felt a thrill of nerves run through him. This was well outside his comfort zone, and he had no idea what to expect when the lights went out. _Hoodwinked: Tributes to American Hardcore and Punk,_ it read. Remus didn't quite understand the terms, but Alice had acted like Jesus Christ was coming to town when she'd first mentioned it to him. If nothing else, tonight would certainly would be an _experience._

“I think I'm gonna to get a beer, do you want anything?” At Alice's question he looked up and shrugged a little. She was still dancing from foot to foot in her excitement, and Remus was so used to Alice being calm and collected that this overexcited version of her was a little strange to see.

“Sure, whatever you're having,” Remus replied and she offered him another smile and made to go but faltered for a moment, grabbed his forearm, and all but dragged him to the far left of the small stage. He staggered a little in surprise, and quickly followed her lead to ensure that he wouldn't fall.

“It's supposed to start soon,” she said by way of explanation when they'd come to a stop, “trust me when I say you don't want to be in the centre like that when the lights go down. I'll be right back,” she said with a grin, and disappeared into the crowd.

Left alone, Remus felt more than a little unsettled by her words. What was supposed to happen that would make him _not_ want to be in the centre of the room like that when this thing started? It seemed a little strange to him, but then he knew next to nothing about these kinds of events. Had he not been here, it was likely he'd be at home, buried in nineteenth-century literature and working on his thesis, which he'd been procrastinating so spectacularly on.

Alice was quick to return and pressed a cold bottle into Remus's hand. He opened his mouth to thank her, but at that same moment the lights dimmed and he immediately understood why he would not have wanted to be in the centre of the floor at that moment.

It was pandemonium. A collective roar followed the hall darkening, people threw their fists in the air, jumped up and down excitedly, and the was a mad surge of bodies that rushed towards the stage. Alice shoved her beer into his hand and disappeared into the madness, just as a group of four men wandered onto the low stage. They picked up their instruments and struck up a slower tempo than Remus had expected, just as a female voice began to speak over the roaring crowd.

 

“ _Look at mankind, our planet poisoned and diseased,_

_Past generations raped it with their greed,_

_Yet we still destroy all the oceans and pollute the sky,_

_What's left for our future, nothing but extinction._

_Drink a glass of water, you're drinking acid rain,_

_Take a deep breath, pollution in your brain._

_They fucked up everything, the planet doesn't lie,_

_They fucked up everything, leaving us to die!”_

 

The tempo suddenly sped up as the lead singer began to sing—though it was unlike any singing Remus had ever heard before. It was raw, more like an infuriated snarl than actual melody, while the crowd seemed to have lost their minds in their excitement, and roared the words back to the singer, following along easily, though Remus was at sea. The centre of the crowd broke up into what he recognized as a mosh pit, but looked to him more like a brawl. Men with their shirts stripped off throwing themselves into each other, girls acting just as violently, a few people staggering out every few minutes with split lips and bloody noses, but looking as though they were having the time of their lives. Remus saw a few people tumble to the ground of the pit, but instead of them getting trampled, Remus watched with amazement as everyone stopped what they were doing and helped them up.

He could hardly discern the words the band sung, it was a mess of fast instruments and equally fast singing, and it made him dizzy to try and work out what they were saying. He caught a phrase here and there, but it made little sense out of context, and as the concert progressed, he couldn't help but be impressed by the fans easily following along with the singer.

Half an hour later, it was all over.

The lights came back on, and Remus saw Alice limp towards him, a bruise blossoming on her cheek, her hair a mess and clinging to her sweaty face, and she grinned as she took her beer back from him.

“Cheers,” she said as she took a swig.

“What the bloody hell did I just witness?” Remus asked, still staring at the stage. The musicians were alternating between packing up their equipment and talking to the fans that were still hanging around the stage.

“ _That_ was Punx, _The Casualties_ cover band,” she said, and Remus returned his attention to Alice as she spoke. “There's five cover bands, two are local, three are from America. Blaq Fag is supposed to be really good—they're on next. They're from London and they're the Black Flag cover band. Apparently the lead singer is this incredibly hot flaming homosexual, and I've heard that he sounds _exactly_ like Henry Rollins.”

“You do realize I have no idea who that is, right?” He asked, and she laughed.

“Well, either way, they're supposed to be amazing.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, and soon Remus caught sight of Alice beginning to hop from foot to foot again in anticipation. On the stage, a group of men in The Uniform were setting up guitars, microphones, and a drum set with a graphic on the bass drum of four uneven vertical rectangles in red, orange, blue and purple.

The lights dimmed again, Alice pressed her beer on Remus and disappeared just as five young men stepped onto the stage. They appeared to be around Remus's age, in their early twenties, dressed in The Uniform, just like everyone else.

One of them stepped up to the centre mike, and Remus felt his breath catch because Alice—damn her—had been right.

 _Gorgeous_ didn't even begin to cover it.

Tight black jeans, a fitted black T-shirt with the words _The Adicts_ written on it below a white graphic of a clown, waves of dark hair falling just past his shoulders, and Remus could see a tattoo on the man's inner forearm of the same four vertical, uneven rectangles, though in black instead of multicoloured.

“We're Blaq Fag,” the man murmured into the microphone, not even looking at the screaming, frenzied crowd as he spoke, “you know what to do.”

As soon as his words faded, Remus could hear a soft roll from the drummer, and watched as the guitarist joined in, and, if possible, the crowd went even more mad than before. Over the din of screaming fans and guitars, Remus heard the singer start up in that same rough, growl of a vocal style that seemed to be major theme of these 'bands'. It was like watching a man transformed, from the calm, collected person standing there mere moments before to an almost mad possession as he threw everything he had into his performance.

“ _Jealous cowards, try to control,_ ” the lead singer snarled.

“ _Rise above, we're gonna rise above!_ ” screamed the crowd back at him.

“ _They distort what we say,_ ” he sang, throwing his head back and Remus felt his heart speed up a little as he watched.

“ _Rise above, we're gonna rise above!_ ”

“ _Try and stop what we do,_ ” the singer's teeth were bared as he growled the words, his long dark hair falling into his eyes as he stared intensely at the crowd.

“ _Rise above, we're gonna rise above!”_

“ _When they can't do it themselves,_ ”

“ _Rise above, we're gonna rise above!_ ”

“ _We are tired of your abuse, try to stop us, it's no use,_ ” he sang, and Remus watched as the crowd's chanting bled together with the singer's snarl of a voice. Remus shifted his gaze for a moment from the singer to the crowd and gaped as he watched a string of people were hobble from the mosh pit. They were cradling their face in their hands as blood dribbled from between their fingers, their free hands in the air formed into a fist while they continued to scream the lyrics at the top of their voices, bouncing forward as though someone had attached springs to their feet.

 _This is absolute madness..._ Remus thought, shifting his gaze back to the singer, his breath catching again when he saw that the singer was staring _right_ at him. The intensity of that gaze focused solely on Remus made it feel as though his heart had momentarily stopped, but after a split second he looked away, and it was like he could breathe again. The song ended, and the next one started up at once, eliciting another excited roar from the bloodied attendees. Instead of the singing he expected, the vocalist spoke, his lilting, posh accent sounding a little rough around the edges, as though he was attempting to mimic the American accent of the original singer.

“I've got a six pack, and nothing to do,” he said, “I've got a six pack...and I don't need you!”

The guitars started up again, and it dissolved into snarled fast singing that Remus couldn't hope to follow.

 

The band continued to perform, punctuating the songs with a word here and there, thanking the crowd for listening to them, and Remus felt his heart flutter every time the singer spoke. Remus shook himself.

 _Don't be stupid,_ he thought, _you're from a completely different world than these people, you'd have no hope of getting in with a man like that._

“This is our last song,” the singer said to the assembled crowd some twenty minutes later, “thanks for listening to us, we'll be at the merch table right after, so please come say hi and buy a shirt so that we can get more beers. This is TV Party,” he broke off when the crowd screamed, “so if you know the lyrics please sing along.”

At once, a chant started up between the singer and the crowd.

“ _TV party tonight! TV party tonight! TV party tonight! TV party tonight!”_

“ _We're gonna have a TV party tonight,”_ he sang.

“ _All right!”_ The crowd answered.

“ _We're gonna have a TV party, all right!_ ”

“ _Tonight!_ ”

Remus could not help but smile as he watched the back and forth between the crowd and the singer, the musicians looking as though they were having as much fun as the crowd. All too soon it was over, and the lights came back on. Remus was rather surprised at how disappointed he felt at that.

Alice hobbled out of the crowd, looking less like she had been enjoying music, and more like she'd participated in a brawl. Her hair was an even bigger mess than it had been before, the bruise on her cheek seemed more pronounced, her lip was split, and her shirt clung to her, soaked with sweat.

“Cheers,” she said again as she reached him, taking back her beer. “What did you think?”

“It was...an experience,” Remus said, smiling faintly when she laughed.

“I know this isn't your thing Remus, but I meant more what did you think of Sirius Black, the singer?” She asked, grinning knowingly when Remus felt his face grow warm.

“They definitely don't make them like that back at Uni,” he said after a pause, sipping his beer while his eyes strayed to the stage, where a handful of men were packing up instruments and equipment.

“You could say that,” she said with a laugh.

They passed fifteen minutes in relative silence then Remus pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning against, and Alice arched a brow in confusion.

“Where are you going?”

“Don't panic,” he replied with a small smile, “I just need some air. Be back soon.”

“Oh, but...the Minor Threat cover band is gonna be on soon...” she trailed off with a frown, but Remus didn't budge.

“All right,” she said, deflated, “hold on to your ticket, or you won't be let back in.”

He nodded once, and slipped off, weaving through the battered attendees as he went.

At the top of the rickety staircase that led back down to the skate shop, there was a line of booths Remus hadn't noticed before. Tables covered in T-shirts, pins, patches, CDs, and other such paraphernalia. The tables were surrounded by people, and Remus caught sight of the handsome singer from before, grinning at fan after fan who came up to talk to him. 

Forcing himself to look away, Remus descended to the main level, and after flashing his ticket at the store's employee, he stamped the back of his hand before letting Remus go outside.

The damp London air was refreshing after over an hour in the loud, stuffy attic. Remus hadn't noticed it before, but his ears were ringing slightly, and he hoped this experience wouldn't cause him to go deaf. He pressed his back against the cool bricks, and took a deep breath.

“Not a Minor Threat fan?”

Remus jumped at the sound of the voice, and whipped around to see the singer—Sirius, leaning against the wall right next to him, smiling at him while he fished a crushed pack of cigarettes from his jeans pocket. Remus felt himself flush under the other man's gaze.

“Oh no, I—er, I just needed some air,” Remus replied awkwardly.

“Fair enough. You looked a little uneasy in there, I've never seen you at one of these before, your first time?” Sirius asked while he pulled out a fag and lit it, then offered the pack to Remus, who shook his head minutely. Sirius shrugged and stowed it back in his pocket.

“Is it that obvious?” he asked, and Sirius smiled, a toothy, brilliant smile that reached his grey eyes and seemed to make his whole face light up.

“Well you do sort of...stand out,” he said, his voice dropping to a softer tone, which brought out the rough edge to his voice, though Remus supposed that could have been the result of the kind of singing he'd been doing not half an hour earlier. Sirius cleared his throat once and continued, “The community is really small, so you tend to see the same faces at most of the shows.”

“It's not exactly my thing, this sort of music,” Remus began, smiling a little when Sirius chuckled.

“I assumed,” he replied, taking a slow drag off his cigarette.

“What was your first clue?”

“Well, the Librarian-In-Training outfit was sort of a dead giveaway,” Sirius arched an elegant brow as Remus looked down at his clothes. Jeans and a brown cardigan equated to Librarian? It was a little confusing, but he had a feeling Sirius hadn't meant it as an insult.

“My friend Alice,” Remus said, gesturing back to the building, “her boyfriend backed out at the last minute, some work thing, and she didn't want to go alone so she sort of begged me to come with her.”

“Well, remind me to thank her for forcing your hand,” Sirius said with a short laugh. “What do you think of it?”

“It's...intense,” Remus said after a moment's pause. He didn't dislike it in the strictest sense, but it did alarm him a little that the attendees seemed to get a kick out of beating each other bloody. “It's not like anything I've ever been to before.”

“It's therapy for me, in a way,” Sirius said softly, his eyes dropping from Remus as he kicked at the pavement with the toe of his Doc Marten knockoffs. “I get all my shit out and I can be a functional member of society again.”

“Doing this really helps you that much?” Remus asked, surprised at the words. He'd never heard of someone so deeply affected by something as simple as _music_ before.

“Yeah, it does,” he looked back up, and that perfect smile was back. Remus could practically feel his legs turning to jelly at the sight of it. Remus had no idea what to say in response to his words; he couldn't remember anything having that deep of an impact on him.

Remus opened his mouth to speak, grasping at straws in an effort to find _something_ to say, but at the same moment a tall man around their age burst through the shop's doors, his messy black hair clinging to his face. He looked as thrashed as Alice had.

“Pads, gotta go—Misfits,” he said, and Remus watched as Sirius's eyes lit up at the words. He turned back to Remus while he dug something out of his pocket.

“Gotta get back in there but...” he paused and pressed a paper into Remus's hand, “call or text me sometime? I'd love to go out for drinks or something.”

Remus stared, certain he was having him on. Drop-dead gorgeous rock musicians did _not_ ask out meek little English Literature students. When Remus did not immediately react, Sirius covered Remus's hand with his own, making him curl his fingers over the little piece of paper.

“Think about it, yeah?” he asked, and without another word Sirius turned and hurried back in, following the other man back inside at a run.

Remus looked down at the little paper in his fist. He could be having him on, but somehow, Remus didn't think that that was the case. Sirius just seemed too earnest to be that big of a prat. He uncurled his fingers and stared down at the numbers written down in neat, elegant script.

Making a decision, Remus pulled out his mobile, unlocked it, and selected, 'Add Contact'. 

 

~*~

 

At the end of the evening, Remus was relieved that it was over. It hadn't been awful—the intermission with Sirius Black being the highlight of his evening—but he couldn't exactly say that he was a convert or anything. He didn't quite understand the appeal, and it all just seemed very violent and angry to him.

“I really appreciate you coming with me,” Alice said for what was likely the dozenth time, “I know it's not your thing but...thanks.”

“S'fine,” Remus replied with a small smile as they descended into the Underground, trying and failing to ignore the stares they got. He was certain they looked like an odd couple, Alice looking like a huge mess and positively reeking of sweat and beer, and a huge bruise on her cheek. Remus next to her, in his favourite brown cardigan and jeans, looking more like he'd just gotten out of a University class.

“Did you like it, or is it an _Alice never ever make me do that ever again_ sort of thing?” Remus barked a laugh to her question as the train pulled up.

“I wouldn't object to going again,” he began, thinking of Sirius, “but don't expect it to become a regular thing.”

“Fair enough,” she said with a small laugh. He smiled a little, but had kept his encounter with Sirius to himself. Until he found out whether it was some elaborate prank or not, he wasn't keen to share what had happened with her.

Alice's stop came first and she got off, offering him a quick half-wave as the doors closed and he sped off. Remus pulled out his mobile and quickly found Sirius's number in his contacts. He couldn't quite understand what someone like him saw in Remus—they came from two completely different worlds. Didn't people like that tend to stick with their own tight-knit group? Remus frowned. Maybe Sirius really just had been taking the piss out of him, pitying the poor bookish kid who'd been dragged by their friend into his insane world of music.

The train pulled up to his stop, and Remus walked, trance-like, to his duplex. He snapped out of it almost at once when an excited bark sounded from the other side of his front door, and he suddenly found himself with an armful of malamute.

The dog's weight nearly made Remus buckle under him, and chuckling he shepherded the dog back inside and shut the door. He grabbed the red leash off the hook, and hooked it to the collar of the huge animal.

“C'mon Moony, I bet you really need to go,” Remus said, and the dog wagged his tail excitedly, his tail making a loud _thump, thump, thump_ against the wall as he grabbed a handful of poop bags. He turned around and stepped back out into the cool night air.

Mouth open in a doggie grin, Moony trotted beside Remus as he led him down the short staircase and into the front garden. He relieved himself on the front gate, and Remus then led him in a walk around the block.

As he walked, his mind strayed back to his bizarre evening. Alice dragging him to some sort of punk rock show in the attic of a shop, of all places, being hit on by a musician that was leaps and bounds of his league, then being given his number. His mobile seemed to burn in his jeans pocket as he thought of it. Did he actually want to contact him?

Remus had always been very cautious about who he associated with, and he almost never dated. The reason for this was well-hidden beneath his clothing.

Scar tissue.

Not minor cuts here and there, but a good portion of his upper body was littered with a crisscross of pearlescent scars. Below his waist was no better, his left leg ending three inches above the knee before it gave way to his prosthetic.

At age six, he'd been in a car accident. He was in the front seat with his mother at the wheel, and unbeknownst to him, she had had one cocktail too many, and hadn't noticed that Remus did not have his seat belt on.

After she expertly wrapped the modest Toyota around a lamppost, Remus had been thrown from the vehicle before it had come to a complete stop, and was subsequently pinned beneath it. It was nothing short of a miracle that he'd managed to survive.

Remembering the accident as Moony trotted happily at his side, he felt more and more depressed by his encounter with the musician. The last bloke he'd been seeing, a campy classmate who was a little too enamoured with Gertrude Stein, had left him the moment he'd found out that he was an amputee. What would happen if he mentioned it to Sirius, would he turn tail and run off too. 

Fifteen minutes later Remus returned home, stripped out of his street clothes and took a quick shower before he climbed into bed. He detached his prosthetic and set it aside, then moulded himself around the enormous canine that already occupied it.

“I'm glad I have you Moony,” he mumbled, patting the dog on his side, “you don't care if I'm able-bodied or not. Just as long as I feed you and walk you.”

Remus laughed a little when the dog huffed, and as the excitement of the day began to wear on him, he slowly fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Songs used in this chapter: Apocalypse Today by The Casualties, Rise Above by Black Flag, Six Pack by Black Flag, and TV Party by Black Flag.


	2. Clavicle

Chapter 2 – Clavicle

 

_Been on top of the world_

_Since about six months ago_

_Marking the first time I laid eyes on you_

_I lost all train of thought_

_As I entered the room_

_I saw what looked like really good food_

_Then I saw ya and so did you_

_-Clavicle – Alkaline Trio_

 

Remus was relieved that the next day was Sunday and he wasn't expected to attend any classes. He woke the following morning feeling as though he'd been coated with a thin layer of grime, despite the shower he'd taken just before bed.

He fumbled with attaching his prosthetic before he threw his dressing gown on over his pyjamas and Moony eagerly followed him out of the room and into the dining room, where the back door was located. He let Moony out to do his business, then fed him before turning to his own breakfast.

While he nursed a strong cup of coffee and picked at his toast, he drew his mobile out of his pocket and opened his contact list, and stared at Sirius Black's name. He felt no more confident about the man's advances than he had the night before, but that earnest, wide smile kept popping into his head as he sat there.

Moony rested his head in Remus's lap and whined.

“You're not getting my toast Moony,” Remus said without looking up, and he pointed to a large mat at the back door. “Out.”

The dog whined again, and nudged the mobile in his hand. Uncertain whether it was mad coincidence, destiny, or Moony was much more intelligent than Remus had given him credit for, his big nose nudged the phone's screen, and selected Sirius's name. The messaging app popped up, prompting him to say something.

He looked from his mobile to Moony and back again, and the dog nudged his phone again.

“Okay, fine,” Remus muttered, scratching him behind the ear, “I'll text him if you quit begging.” Moony's mouth opened in a clear doggie smile, he barked once, then wandered off to curl up on the mat where he was supposed to be while Remus ate.

Remus stared at the dog, uncertain what to make of his weird behaviour, then refocused his attention on his mobile. He stared at the phone screen blankly as he tried to think of something to say, and it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't even given Sirius his name, and if nothing else, it at least gave him something to say.

 

_Hey, this is the Librarian-In-Training. Most of my friends know me as Remus though._

 

His heart in his throat, he hit 'send' and strove for nonchalance as he turned back to his breakfast. Even so, it was difficult to resist checking his phone every few seconds. After five minutes Remus received no response, and had to assume that maybe Sirius wasn't as interested as he'd previously let on. It was disappointing, but not surprising. With a small sigh, Remus got up and headed back to his bedroom to get ready for work.

Remus worked at a small independent bookstore called _Novel Idea_ that was the hipster hotspot in his area. It was small and carried mostly local authors or independently published works, though on occasion something more broadly published would make its way into their inventory. They catered to the local artist community, the walls decorated with paintings and photographs available for purchase, and they often held events for local musicians and authors.

He loved his job. Books, free coffee in the stock room, and pretentious customers who thought they knew better than him. Remus's enthusiasm for the works they sold was what had gotten him the job to begin with, and he'd been with them for nearly three years.

That morning, Remus left earlier than usual to walk the short distance to the shop, his satchel filled with his lunch, two novels, and his thesis—assuming he didn't get distracted on his break and actually found some time to work on it. Despite his best efforts, Sirius's face and bright smile was all he could think of during his walk, and by the time he'd made it to the shop he felt incredibly depressed. The crisp February air did not clear his head nearly as much as he had hoped, and it was a little more difficult than usual to rearrange his face into something close to neutral as he approached the shop's front doors.

“Remus, morning!” The opening manager, Emmeline Vance, smiled and stepped aside to let him in, then locked the door again. They weren't due to open for another half hour, and he bit back a smile as he saw a few of their early-bird customers lurch toward the door, then slouch back, disappointed, when they saw it lock again.

“Morning,” Remus replied as he pulled off his jacket and draped it over his arm. The pair stepped further into the shop, and slowed their walk once they'd reached the back room. “What have we got on today?”

“We're flipping the artists today, so I'll need your help setting up the hangers,” she said while Remus hung up his jacket next to hers. He hated dealing with new artists, they were always so self-absorbed, and he hoped this new one might have some sense of humility. “And I'll need you to re-alphabetize Human Sexuality, it's getting out of hand again.”

“Kids giggling at the nude pictures again?” Remus asked with a grin as he grabbed a handheld scanner and a tan metal cart. Alphabetizing was monotonous work, but Remus enjoyed how much focus it took to get it right.

“If I see one more sixteen-year-old giggling over a photograph of a fanny...I swear, I'm going to kill someone,” she grumbled as she plopped down at her desk and began to riffle through the mountain of paperwork that sat next to her laptop. “Oh, one more thing, we have some singer coming in round noon. He's going to be playing some acoustic rock type thing for about an hour. From what I gather, this one's actually halfway decent.”

“So not Mr Final Countdown again?” Remus asked with a grin, and she groaned. A local musician named Gideon toddled in every few weeks and tried to get them to agree to book him. After that first time, they had refused to ever have him again. There was only so many times one could listen to Europe covers sung so off-key Remus often wondered if it had been deliberate.

“I'm half-tempted to just blacklist him just to get him to stop pestering us,” she grumbled, “no, this is some Uni student, ah...” she fished out one of the papers on her desk, “Sirius Black?”

Remus froze.

“Sirius Black?” he asked, his voice coming out a little higher than he'd intended, and Emmeline eyed him oddly.

“Yes, Sirius Black. Why? Is there something wrong?”

“No, no, it's fine. Fine,” Remus said, though he didn't entirely believe what he was saying. “I'll, er, get started on the alphabetizing.”

He all but ran out of the back room.

Remus pushed the cart towards the back of the shop, grateful that it more or less hid him from the main areas and he would be able to work in peace. The section, as expected, was an absolute mess. The larger volumes had been pulled out and stacked on top of the shelved books, the serialized authors were all out of order, and someone had crammed a number of erotica novels—and, for some weird reason, a KJV Bible—at the end of the section.

“This might take a while...” he muttered to himself as he flicked the scanner on.

 

Remus worked for a solid two and a half hours before he was pulled away to help with the hangers for the new artist. Remus _really_ didn't want to come out of hiding, as running into the incredibly gorgeous singer was likely to be incredibly awkward, especially seeing as he seemed to have lost interest in him, given that he never answered the text.

Using a rickety, life-threatening ladder, Remus climbed up and pulled down the unpurchased works, wrapped them carefully in brown paper to keep them from getting damaged, and stowed them behind the till.

“Who's this new artist?” Remus asked as he climbed down from the ladder, the final painting in hand.

“Someone named Lily Potter,” she replied, not looking up from what she was doing as Remus joined her behind the till and began to wrap up the last painting. “She's pretty good, I can see her stuff selling fast. She should be in soon, as a matter of fact.”

As if on cue, a very pretty redhead with bright green eyes bustled into the shop, her arms overflowing with wrapped canvases. Remus circled the till to greet her, and put on his Friendly Bookseller Face.

“Hi, you must be Lily Potter, the new artist?”

“Oh well spotted,” she said with a smile, “help me with these?”

Taking half her load, they carried them to the back room to sort them out. Remus unwrapped them carefully and propped them against the wall, and was surprised to see that she was actually as good as Emmeline had said. She was rather finicky on which artists were shown in the shop, and it was rare that they agreed where art was concerned.

The canvases carried images that varied from abstract swaths of colour to highly detailed naturalistic paintings of wildlife, mostly deer, as well as portraits of a few different men. One with sallow skin, a hooked nose and lank black hair. When he turned to look more closely at the other two portraits she'd just unwrapped and set aside, Remus was startled to see that he recognized both of the subjects.

It was Sirius Black and the messy-haired guy from the night before.

“Something wrong?” Lily had stepped up to stand next to him, and smiled warmly at the three paintings. “Oh yeah, three of the most important men in my life. Well, three out of four, anyway.”

“Three out of four?” Remus asked, bordering between not wanting to know why his day was turning into one mad coincidence after another, and being damnably curious about it at the same time.

“That's Severus,” she pointed to the sallow-skinned man, “he's my best friend in the whole world. He a right cranky arse and no one really understands him, but I adore him. That,” she pointed to the messy-haired, dark skinned man, “is my husband, James.”

“Husband?” Remus asked before he could stop himself, and turned to look at her. She couldn't be older than twenty-five or so. “You look quite young to be married.”

“We were gonna wait until I finished school,” she said with a nostalgic smile, “James had been asking for ages, but the baby sort of clinched it.” Her smile widened as she spoke, as though she was recalling the fondest memory she had, “his mum would have had a heart attack if we had the baby out of wedlock, she's quite old fashioned in that regard...so we just did it. It was an accident, the baby I mean. Nice accident, though.”

“And when was this?” Remus asked before he could stop himself.

“Five years ago. Harry. He's five now. He's a right little terror, I'm sure he'll grow up to be the bane of every teacher's existence, just like his father.” She grinned a little wickedly, and Remus had to laugh a little. “Oh, and that's Sirius, my husband's boyfriend.”

Remus stared. His shock and confusion must have shown on his face because she suddenly threw her head back and laughed. It was a nice sound, not false, but full and warm. He could understand why this James character would beg someone like her to marry him.

“Well, not _literally_ his boyfriend. They're best friends, since secondary school. Sometimes I think they love each other more than James loves me,” she said with a giggle, her face a little red as she calmed down.

“And how come you didn't paint your son? Make it sort of a...I dunno, family set, or something?” Remus asked, and Lily's face fell a little at his words.

“I have painted Harry, my tiny little muse, but James wasn't comfortable with the idea of me selling those, so these three will have to do,” she said with a smile. She fished out her mobile from her pocket to show Remus the lock screen—a picture of a five-year-old child that was the spitting image of his father, save for the bright green eyes. “That's my boy,” she said, her voice dripping with pride.

“He's adorable,” Remus said, smiling weakly, still mildly unnerved by the insane string of coincidences that had gone on that morning. “C'mon, I'll help you get the labels sorted,” he said as he handed the adhesive tags to her, and she put away the phone and pulled out a pen to make the labels for her work.

 

It took the better part of an hour, but at last they'd got all the paintings up and labelled, her portraits towards the front of the shop, and her abstracts towards the back. Remus smiled to himself as he hung the last one, the one of Sirius Black, and carefully climbed down the ladder.

While he had been working, his phone had been buzzing almost nonstop as he received what felt like over a dozen text messages. Assuming it was Alice with her latest drama, he ignored it while he worked with Lily.

“All done,” he said as he climbed off the ladder.

“It looks great,” Lily said with a smile, standing next to Emmeline near the till, who nodded her agreement. “Thanks for the help Remus.”

“It's no problem. We can call you if we get any offers for your work,” he said, but she shook her head once.

“I'm gonna stick around for a bit, if that's all right. James is gonna drive Sirius here for his performance, and he's giving me a lift home.”

“That's no problem,” Emmeline cut in with a smile. “Want a coffee? We have a machine in the back.”

“I'm all right, thanks,” she said with a laugh, and leaned against the counter as she talked with Emmeline. While Remus had worked, Lily had been alternating between telling Remus which paintings go where, and chatting idly with his manager. It wasn't long before they'd hit it off, and he excused himself to leave the pair talking. He slipped into the back room, and slid between the shelves of overstock to check his phone.

 

_11 new messages_

 

Confused, he unlocked his phone, and his mouth dropped open when he realized what he was seeing: all the texts were from Sirius.

 

_Who the bloody hell texts at half-seven in the morning?_

 

_Sorry, that was rude, I'm awake now and have coffee. Remus. I kind of like thinking you as Librarian better._

 

_Listen here you fucking adorable twat, how come you're not answering? Was it something I said?_

 

_James says that not everyone would appreciate being called a “fucking adorable twat”. Can't see why. Anyway, you should answer me soon, I'm needy and constipated._

 

_*conceited. I fucking hate technology._

 

_I can't believe I said CONSTIPATED. I'm just going to crawl into a hole and die now._

 

_But seriously, I meant what I said last night. Drinks? Coffee? Animal sacrifice? You're cute, and I want to get to know you._

 

_Remus._

 

_Remus._

 

_Librariannnnnnnn_

 

_Fuck me, I have to go get ready for a gig. I'll pester you later._

 

Chuckling to himself, he selected the blank text bar to respond.

 

_Hi, sorry, I've been at work. You are certainly the master of text-spamming. Try asking me out again after your gig._

 

Smiling to himself as he hit 'Send', he switched his mobile to mute, stowed it back in his pocket, and got back to work.

Remus got back to his alphabetizing, a noticeable spring in his step. He was torn between, _why would someone like this Sirius Black even be remotely interested in me?_ And, _He thinks I'm cute. Oh God someone that ridiculously attractive actually thinks_ I'm _cute._

In the end he settled for a quiet, pleased sort of smile, and listened as the shop began to fill with music lovers. The low, busy thrum was a little odd for their shop, and again Remus marvelled at the following Sirius seemed to have.

“...I swear to God Padfoot, if you ask me one more time to cross-examine that text from your new crush, I will actually kill you.” The voice snapped Remus out of his alphabetizing daze, and he looked up to see Sirius striding towards the back room, a huge acoustic guitar case in one hand, his mobile in the other.

“But why would he want me to ask him again after this gig? It doesn't make sense!”

“Maybe he's put off by your pathetic need for constant attention. Honestly, I don't know how I put up with you, much less a little Librarian-type like this Remus.”

“'Cause you love me and you know it,” he said, and even at a distance Remus could hear the grin in his voice. Their voices had gotten louder in their approach, and Remus crouched down low to hide his face, but not make it obvious that he was hiding. Their voices soon became muffled as they passed into the back room, and Remus moved to another section of the shop to avoid being seen on their way back out as a plan began to formulate in his mind.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Remus heard them step back out, apparently bickering about something, though Remus was too far away to make out the words. Soon, their bickering was drowned out by a polite round of applause and cheers, though nothing like the mad enthusiasm of the previous night.

“Hi everyone, thanks for coming out,” Sirius's voice made it to the back of the shop, and Remus shivered as it washed over him. “I hope you enjoy yourselves.”

A melodic acoustic guitar began to play, and Remus heard Sirius begin to sing. Not growl and snarl like some rabid dog as he had the night before, but properly _sing_.

 

“ _Cracked my head open on your kitchen floor,_

_To prove to you that I have brains._

_Meanwhile tin men,_

_Led by little girls,_

_Down the golden road that leads to nowhere._

 

_Fine time to fake a seizure,_

_To feel your mouth on mine,_

_You're saving me.”_

 

Remus stared, his natural, clear voice paired with lyrics that could almost—but not quite—constitute a love song. He could not see the ridiculously handsome man from where he was, but with his voice carrying so well, even without sound equipment, it was like he was standing right next to Remus.

The song continued, and Remus could hear the audience softly singing along in the background. Compared to last night, it was remarkably relaxing, and it made it incredibly difficult to focus on his work and not just listen to him.

Applause followed the last strum of the guitar and the next song began almost at once, and Remus paused his work again to listen.

 

“ _We used to get high together,_

_Instead of getting high alone._

_Can't remember the last time I saw you,_

_Can't remember the last time we talked._

_You left home for a fresh start,_

_Working as a waitress down in Bradenton,_

_With my name tattooed into your skin._

 

_Because of the shame,_

_I associate with vulnerability,_

_I am numbing myself completely,_

_Can you hear me right now?”_

 

The lyrics made Remus's stomach clench. He assumed it was more cover songs, as that seemed to be Sirius's thing, but did he really feel that way? How could someone who looked so lovely be that insecure?

Remus focused on his work, and tried to tune out the intoxicating voice. Even so, snatches of lyrics wormed their way into his head.

 

“ _I'm like a record player,_

_I keep going round,_

_With a needle in my arm making someone else's sound._

_And lately I've been dreaming,_

_Of blue and empty skies,_

_But nothing like that ever crosses red and weary eyes...”_

 

It was both wonderful and infuriating all at once. This handsome, multi-talented, narcissistic arse who for whatever reason was interested in _him._ To top it off, for some ridiculous reason, the Universe seemed determined to get them together. It was simply too many weird coincidences, and it unnerved Remus more than a little.

After playing for close to an hour, Remus felt his heart clench when Sirius announced that he only had one more song. He wasn't the only one disappointed by this, as a collective groan sounded from the assembled crowd.

 

“ _We sent out an SOS call,_

_It's a quarter past four in the morning,_

_When the storm broke our second anchor line._

 

_Four months at sea,_

_Four months of calm sea to be pounded in the shallows off the tip of Montauk Point._

_They call them rogues,_

_They travel fast and alone,_

_One hundred foot faces of God's good ocean gone wrong._

 

_What they call love is a risk,_

_'Cause you will always get hit out of nowhere by some wave and end up on your own._

_The hole in the hull defied the crew's attempt to bail us out,_

_And flooded the engines and radio and half buried bow...”_

 

Remus was momentarily overwhelmed by the emotion in the song. It certainly wasn't what he had been expecting, and clearly, there was more to this man than Remus had first thought. As the song wound to a close, he heard the crowd applauding his performance, and slowly Remus slipped from the stacks and wandered up to the front of the shop where Sirius had been playing.

He leant against the _New Releases_ display and crossed his arms while he watched the painfully handsome man. He was talking to a group of simpering girls who were complimenting him on his performance, while he was clearly trying to fend off their obvious advances. Remus's nerve seemed to end at the display, and instead of approaching Sirius, he was content to hang back and watch. This moment would likely prove whether or not the man was actually interested in Remus, or just having him on.

It was his messy-haired friend, James, who noticed him first. His eyes seemed to widen in surprise, and he turned to nudge Sirius. He was wearing The Uniform again, fitted black jeans, a T-shirt that bore the image of an old boom box and the words _at the drive-in_ across the centre, with a leather jacket layered over top. He turned, and as soon as he caught sight of Remus his eyes lit up. Remus felt himself flush a little at being regarded like that, but the meek reaction did not deter the musician. He turned his back on the gaggle of young women and strode straight over to Remus, a wide grin on his face.

“So you wanted me to ask you after to surprise me by showing up at two of my gigs in a row?” He asked when he'd reached Remus, his voice dropping to a low purr that seemed to shoot directly to his groin. He felt his face grow a little warm, and at the back of his mind alarm bells began to go off. This was happening way too fast, and Remus knew that he should know by now that he was setting himself up for a rejection. If he got in too deep, it would hurt like hell when Sirius inevitably backs out after seeing Remus's poor excuse for a body.

“Actually, by some mad coincidence, you decided to perform a gig _where I work_.”

“That actually _is_ a mad coincidence,” Sirius mused, still wearing that ridiculous, confident smile of his. “It would be foolish of us to dismiss it, clearly the stars want us to go out. We might wind up cursed for fifty years or something if we don't embrace it.”

Sirius reached out and brushed his fingers against Remus's arm as he spoke, and Remus felt a thrill run through him at the light contact, his carefully constructed emotional barriers crumbling the moment Sirius touched him.

“Remus, would you like to—?”

“—Yes,” Remus said at once, throwing caution into the wind. Sirius grinned.

“I didn't ask you anything yet.”

“Well,” Remus said, reaching out and brushing his fingers over the back of one of the man's elegant hands, “whatever it is, yes.” Sirius's grin widened.

“Awesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A KJV Bible is the King James Version of the Holy Bible. 
> 
> Songs used in this chapter: Nose Over Tail by Alkaline Trio, Because of The Shame by Against Me!, Like A Record Player by The Lawrence Arms, and Play Crack The Sky by Brand New.


	3. I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

Chapter 3 – I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

 

_Hey little girl_

_I wanna be your boyfriend_

_Sweet little girl_

_I wanna be your boyfriend_

_Do you love me babe?_

_What do you say?_

_Do you love me babe?_ _  
What can I say?_

_Because I wanna be your boyfriend._

_I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - The Ramones_

 

 

Remus had no idea what Sirius had planned. All he was told was “it's a surprise,” by text, followed by a number of cheesy emoticons, and the promise that it would be cliché and well within his comfort zone.

It should not have surprised him however when Sirius pulled up the day of their date on a shiny motorbike, and Remus began to wonder if Sirius actually _owned_ any clothes that did not fall into the realm of The Uniform. Another pair of jeans, the same leather jacket, and another black graphic T-shirt, this one reading _NOFX_ with the words _backstage passport_ written in block letters below it.

Remus had been sitting on the front step, and Moony went predictably bonkers when Sirius pulled up. When he cut the engine, pulled off his helmet, and heard the dog, his eyes lit up.

“You have a dog?” Sirius asked before Remus had even opened his mouth to greet him.

“No, it's just my anti-theft motion sensor, it makes barking dog noises to put off potential burglars,” Remus said in such a deadpan tone of voice that he could see Sirius trying to work out whether he was joking or not. “Yeah I do, I wasn't sure if you liked dogs so I figured I should wait for you outside so that you don't get accosted by my enormous and overexcited ball of fur.”

“I _love_ dogs,” Sirius said, kicking down the stand on his bike and hurrying over. “Can I meet him? _Please?_ ”

“Are you sure? He's gonna get white fur all over your shirt,” Remus said as he stood, his hand already on the door handle.

“I don't care. It's a dog. I fucking love dogs,” the earnest proclamation was adorable, there simply wasn't another word for it. There was something highly amusing and endearing about this tall, broad, punk rock, motorbike-riding man, basically devolving into an exuberant child at the possibility of meeting a dog.

“All right, c'mon,” he motioned with his hand, and bracing himself he unlocked the door and shepherded Moony back while Sirius followed him in. “ _Back,_ Moony, _Back.”_

Remus closed his hand around the thick leather collar to keep him from immediately jumping on Sirius, and Remus struggled with the urge to laugh at his raw enthusiasm. Once he'd gotten a hold on the collar Moony calmed a little, staring past Remus to Sirius, his ears pricked, tail high, and mouth open and panting in a clear doggie smile. “Sirius,” Remus said, “this is Moony. Moony, this is Sirius.”

“Let him go, it's fine,” Sirius said, and after a moment's hesitation he let go of the collar and Moony bounded over, forty kilos of dog barrelling into Remus's date with an audible _oof_ from Sirius as the dog jumped up. Sirius lifted his knee to stop Moony jumping on him, and he stood at Sirius's feet, his tail almost a blur in his excitement. Sirius extended his hand, which Moony sniffed curiously, his tail still wagging excitedly. Apparently he accepted Sirius as he gave the hand a lick, and Sirius crouched down and roughly scratched the dog behind his ears. “Oh my God, you're _adorable_ ,” Sirius muttered to the dog, “I have half a mind to leave Remus behind and take you out instead.”

“I can _hear_ you, you know,” Remus said with a short laugh. The sight of his dog so enthusiastically greeting Sirius was a good sign. He had always been a much better judge of character than Remus was, and if Moony liked him, he was probably an all right bloke.

“I could actually stay here and play with your dog all day, so we better go before I get too attached,” Sirius said after a few minutes, standing up reluctantly and moving towards the door.

“ _If_ there's a second date we could always take him to the dog park if you like,” Remus said with a chuckle as they stepped back outside and Remus paused to lock the door.

“Well, now _that's_ an incentive for me to make this an amazing first date,” Sirius said with a grin as he threw an arm around Remus's shoulders and began to steer him towards his bike.

Startled by the sudden movement, Remus staggered a little and Sirius paused, turning to look at him with his eyebrows raised in surprise and confusion.

“You okay Remus?” He asked, and Remus felt his face grow a little warm under the expression Sirius wore. How much did he want to say? After Gilderoy...he wasn't sure whether full disclosure so soon was a good idea or not.

“Er...old injury,” Remus said, looking away from him, “sometimes makes it hard to walk like a normal person. I'm not in pain or anything, just...slow.”

“Why didn't you say something?” Remus turned back to Sirius at the question, surprised at the tone he heard—it wasn't unsettled or put-off. It was concern. It had been a long time since he'd seen something like that from someone he was interested in.

“I dunno, people are sometimes put off by my...stuff,” Remus said, feeling a little uncomfortable, though he couldn't put his finger on _why_. “I don't like people treating me differently because I'm a little slower or something.”

“If you were a head in a jar, I'd treat you the same,” Sirius said, throwing his arm back around Remus's shoulders and leading him to the bike, though his stride had slowed slightly. The familiar touch was strange enough, but not saying a word of complaint to Remus's vague explanation was a surprise.

“Have you ridden one of these before?” Sirius asked as they stopped before the bike, and he turned back to Remus as he spoke, pulling his own helmet back on, and offered a second one to Remus.

“No, I haven't,” Remus said as he accepted a black helmet from Sirius, “how likely are we to crash and die?”

“Luckily for you, I actually know how to drive, so pretty minimal I'd say,” Sirius said, though his wolfish grin wasn't exactly reassuring. After another moment's hesitation, Remus pulled the helmet on, and climbed on the back of the bike behind Sirius. Sirius kicked the ignition, and Remus locked his arms around the other man's waist. Despite his reassurances, the rumbling under his bum and the lack of windows on either side of him was nerve-wracking, and as Sirius put the bike in gear and shot off, an involuntary yelp of surprise escaped Remus, and his hold on Sirius tightened. A quiver ran through Sirius as though he was laughing, and Remus glared at his broad back.

Remus would have liked to ask where they were going, but over the engine's rumble he doubted Sirius would be able to hear him, and instead turned to watch the scenery zip past. It soon began to make him queasy however, and he buried his face in Sirius's back and felt himself flush with embarrassment when he felt Sirius laugh at him again.

After what felt like hours—though in reality it had probably been less than fifteen minutes—the motorbike pulled to a stop and Sirius cut the engine.

“Not that I mind you clinging to me like that, but...we're here,” Remus could hear the grin in Sirius's voice as he straightened up, and was surprised to see that they were stopped outside a little coffee shop with a closed-off terrace that would likely be filled with patrons in the summer. With his arms still a little stiff, he unlatched himself from around Sirius and slid of the bike, pointedly ignoring the arm Sirius held out to help him down. He wasn't helpless, damn it.

They walked into the little shop, called _The Espresso Pump,_ and Remus found it to be buzzing with people. So busy in fact, that there were no free tables. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, then by some fluke, Remus spotted a student packing up his laptop and preparing to leave.

“I'll get the drinks, you grab the table,” Sirius said in a tone of voice like they were planning the invasion of Normandy. “What d'you want?”

“Just get me a latte,” Remus said, fishing out a fiver from his wallet and pressing it into his hand. For a moment it looked as though Sirius was going to protest and not take his money, but then offered Remus one of his infuriatingly charming smiles and hurried over to the counter.

Remus managed to nab the table a scant thirty seconds before two teen girls got to it, and they slunk away while they gave him a rather nasty look. Feeling distinctly out of place, he pulled out his mobile to fiddle with while he waited for Sirius to return, still stuck in a dreamlike mentality. He couldn't believe that this was actually _happening_. In what bizarro universe did ridiculously attractive musicians ask out meek, bookish nerds? His mobile buzzed, and he saw a text message from Alice.

 

_Details. Now. Where did he take you? What are you wearing? Is he paying?_

 

Remus snorted, and could practically hear her demanding voice in his head as he read it. Rolling his eyes at the last inquiry, he began to type an answer.

 

_Some coffee shop. He promised me cliche, and it doesn't get more cliche than a coffee date. What I usually wear. Jumper and jeans. No, he is not paying. It's not the 1950's, and I'm not a girl._

 

Alice replied almost immediately.

 

_Yeah, but you're a big nelly bottom so it's practically the same thing._

 

Remus scowled at his mobile.

 

_And when's the last time you let Frank pay for dinner? Point. Now shut up, he's coming back._

 

Remus flicked his phone to mute just as she texted him back, ( _Don't forget to let him hold the door for you sweetie!_ ) and slipped it in his pocket. Remus accepted the mug topped with a ridiculous amount of foam, and Sirius sat across from him with a black coffee and a croissant.

“I miss anything exciting?” Sirius asked with a smile, and Remus felt himself flush a little, painfully aware of more than a few women casting glances Sirius's way as he shed his jacket and hung it on the back of the chair. His T-shirt clung to him snugly, and he could see that he had a handful of tattoos, the four rectangles on his inner forearm that he'd noticed when he first saw him, an old-fashioned microphone on his bicep, and the beginnings of some sort of complicated tattoo on his shoulder, which was mostly obscured by the shirt's sleeve.

“Aside from my friend texting me and treating me like a lady from the fifties? Not as such,” Remus replied, smiling when his comment got a small chuckle from his companion. He cradled the mug in his hands and took a careful sip, licking the foam off his lips as he did so, and did not miss the way Sirius's eyes followed the movement keenly.

“So like, telling you to keep your knees together or something?” Remus snorted a little to Sirius's question, and he smiled.

“Something like that, yeah.”

Sirius split his croissant and offered Remus the larger half, to which he shook his head minutely. He shrugged and ripped off a chunk with his teeth, then chased it down with a sip of coffee.

“So, tell me something about yourself,” Sirius said, watching Remus like he was the most interesting person on the planet. It felt very strange to be looked at like that.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, I know you dress like a librarian, or a grandfather, I can't decide which...you apparently like books, given your profession, and you have some old injury that on occasion makes your walking a little slower than an average person's...so I'm guessing war wound or you were wrestling bears or something, I can't decide,” Sirius said as Remus laughed, “I just wanna know about you. When's your birthday? What's your favourite colour? What's your major? What kind of music d'you like? Give me something.”

“Well, I'm in English Literature—I want to be an editor. My birthday's tenth March, I don't really have a favourite colour...maybe something foresty, like green or brown? Um, you probably wouldn't like what I like.” Remus felt himself grow a little warm with embarrassment, certain that Sirius was one of those music elitists like Alice was—scoffing at any music they disliked. Sirius reached across the table and rested a hand over Remus's. Remus continued to feel uncomfortably warm, but now for a very different reason.

“Try me.”

“Erm, Norah Jones, Michelle Branch, Adele, Eliza Rickman...” he trailed off, but was surprised when Sirius didn't laugh at him.

“You were right, those ladies aren't exactly my thing,” Sirius began, his charming smile never wavering, “but they're yours, so I can learn to like them.”

“Does this sucking up routine generally work for you?” Remus asked with another short laugh, and Sirius grinned again.

“I guess that sort of thing won't work on someone with standards, eh?” Sirius asked as he retracted his hand and sipped on his coffee.

“You'll have to try harder than that Mr Black,” Remus replied, though try as he might he couldn't stifle the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Okay, my turn. Birthday, favourite food, favourite book or books. Go.”

Remus had expected the question to make Sirius stumble. Surely someone like him wasn't a big reader. Instead, he grinned a little.

“Third November, Punjabi eggplant curry—which is totally James's mum's fault. She makes the best damn curry in the universe. And books...Jesus, that's a hard one. I'll go with authors, otherwise we'll be here all day. J.D. Salinger, Jack Kerouac, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Irvine Welsh, Kurt Vonnegut, Henry David Thoreau, Friedrich Nietzsche, and David Foster Wallace. I...What?”

Remus stared. Of all the authors he'd expected to come spouting out of Sirius's mouth, _Salinger_ and _Dostoevsky_ hadn't ranked high. _Damn it,_ Remus thought, _he's hot_ and _intelligent. Fucking hell, he's perfect._

“No, seriously, why are you looking at me like that? Is there something wrong with my hair?” Sirius reached up and began to paw at his locks, while Remus shook his head a little.

“Your hair's fine Sirius. I'm just...surprised, I guess. I didn't expect you to read stuff like Thoreau and things.”

“What, you thought I was some uneducated urchin?” He asked, his grin widening when Remus felt his face grow warm.

“No, but...You don't exactly strike me as the type to lock yourself away with a bunch of musty old books,” Remus said, hiding his embarrassment behind the overlarge mug.

“Among other things, I am a ridiculous packrat, and have quite the library of my own. You're welcome to come by sometime and peruse my shelves, then you can see for yourself how well-read I am.”

“That is the weakest excuse to have me over for a shag that I've ever heard,” Remus said with a snort.

“Yeah, but you're not saying no, so it's a start,” Sirius smirked, again flashing him that perfect smile.

  

They spent the whole afternoon in the café, and it was quite clear by early evening that neither man was ready to part company yet. Leaving the bike where it was, Remus led Sirius down the street to the corner, where his favourite restaurant was located.

It was nothing special or fancy, an American-style diner that looked like a set from _Grease_ , complete with the plastic booths, greasy food, and waiters and waitresses dressed in offensively bright, pastel uniforms.

“I can see why you like this place...it's very _you.,_ ” Sirius said with a grin as they stepped inside and were led to a table.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” He asked, intent on sounding mildly offended, but the disarming look on Sirius's face meant that he failed rather spectacularly.

“It's adorable, and you're adorable, so again I say: very you,” Sirius said, his grin widening when Remus felt himself go very red.

After placing their orders and receiving a soft drink each, they fell into a comfortable silence.

“So, how did you get into all that stuff?” Remus asked a moment later, and Sirius cocked an eyebrow, indicating that he didn't know what _stuff_ Remus was referring to. “I mean all that Punk stuff. I didn't really know much about it til a few days ago.”

Sirius fell silent, his expression shifted from nonchalant to thoughtful, and he sipped his Fanta while he thought.

“Well,” he began, “I went to this hoity-toity boarding school in Scotland. _Very_ posh. Practically everyone who attended were from wealthy families, and it was just this...cesspool of entitlement. My brother and I were from a similar kind of family, but while he ate it up, I never bought into all the shit our parents tried to beat into us. That's where I met James; his parents were just as loaded as everyone else there, but he was...different. Decent, mostly. He found it first when he was making corny mix CDs for one of our classmates he fancied, and it was just like...a revelation. A music that reflected our frustration at the bullshit class system, the wealthy entitlement and total disregard for anyone _beneath_ them, our political views...everything just laid bare like that. I loved it.

“My darling mother was hell-bent on making sure we grew up _cultured_ so Reg—that's my brother—and I had all sorts of music and etiquette lessons during our holidays, and it was James's idea to start covering songs we liked, since neither of us were creative enough to come up with our own stuff. It sort of went from there.”

Sirius finished, and Remus felt himself stuck on the phrase _the shit our parents tried to beat into us._ He couldn't claim that his parents had been perfect, but his father had been decent to him after the accident. He had nothing to complain about, and seeing this happy-go-lucky, obscenely confident man sat before him, it was hard to believe he had such a traumatic adolescence. A look of worry crossed Sirius's face, and he cocked his head to the side as he regarded Remus.

“Remus, what's wrong?”

“Your parents _hit_ you?” Remus couldn't even look up as he spoke, wincing a little as he tried to picture it. It made him feel impossibly angry to imagine anyone hurting Sirius in any capacity. Sirius seemed to only just realize what he'd said, and he went a little pink. 

“Fuck, I didn't mean to say that,” he said, his tone embarrassed, but most strangely he didn't sound ashamed of it. “Golden rule and all that—nothing too heavy on first dates.”

Sirius paused when their food arrived, and they both offered their waitress a murmur of of thanks before she swept off, and Sirius reached across the table to rest a hand over Remus's wrist. Remus looked up and met Sirius's grey gaze, to find him smiling warmly at him.

“When I was sixteen I had enough and left, James's parents put me up until I finished school, and I came into some inheritance from a relative that really hated my parents. I haven't seen either of them in nearly ten years. It's past, and I have good people in my life now, a real family.” Sirius finished speaking and shifted his hand to rest over Remus's, and he felt himself grow warm. At that moment, he hadn't realized just how much he wanted to be part of that family of his. Afraid of overstepping his bounds and going too fast Remus said nothing, and turned his hand under Sirius's to offer it a light squeeze. They both turned to their food and lighter topics of conversation.

“So, why does James call you Padfoot?” Remus asked, choosing his moment well, and bit his lip to keep himself from laughing when Sirius choked on a chip.

“A nickname from secondary school,” Sirius replied when he'd recovered. “I was like...like the stereotypical Weird Horse Girl, but with dogs. I was _obsessed._ My parents would never let me have one, so I talked James's ear of constantly of what breed I'd get if I could, and what I'd name it, and all that. His was Prongs—there was an incident with a fork.”

Remus chuckled at the latter vague explanation, but faltered when Sirius prompted, “I'm sure you have a nickname or two from school too, so don't you tease me about ours.”

 _Yeah, Ahab._ He thought, nearly wincing at the scathing tone that usually went with it. How would he explain that to Sirius though?

“Nothing as thought-out as yours,” Remus replied eventually with a helpless shrug, and Sirius chuckled a little, his leg swinging out under the table and hooking around his ankle—thankfully he'd chosen his flesh and bone one, and not the one made of plastic. Remus wasn't sure he was ready to explain that just yet.

Once more, Remus was struck by a sense of unease that pooled in his belly. His affection for this man was happening way too quickly, and it was highly unnerving. _I need to slow this down,_ he thought, _the second he finds out that I'm an amputee he'll head for the hills like all the others. I shouldn't be setting myself up for another disappointment like this._

Remus hid his anxieties behind a placid smile, and after dinner they reluctantly called it a night. Sirius took Remus home and escorted him inside for an excuse to see Moony again. After he'd greeted the dog, he straightened up, reached forward and threaded his fingers through the front of Remus's jumper.

Before Remus was able to ask what he was doing, Sirius pulled him forward and Remus stumbled into his arms. He only had a moment for his mild alarm to register before he felt Sirius's mouth cover his own in a heated kiss. Remus's eyes fluttered shut and his arms draped over Sirius's shoulders, while he tried valiantly to ignore the dog at waist-height that was whining and trying to worm in between them in his effort to regain their attention. Sirius broke the kiss with a soft chuckle, and he had reached down to pet the dog at the same moment that Remus had, resulting in their fingers tangling together.

Both laughing, Sirius used his free hand to draw Remus in for one final kiss.

“I just wanted to do that at least once, in case you decide that I'm not worth your time,” he whispered, his breath tickling over Remus's damp lips as he spoke. Sirius patted Moony once, stole another kiss, and slipped out the door. Remus watched him go with Moony sitting attentively at his side, and with a roar from his motorbike, he was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: NOFX Backstage Passport is a brilliant documentary where the band NOFX travel to a bunch of countries punk bands generally don't visit much (places in Southeast Asia, the Middle East and South America, if I remember correctly) and this was the doc that turned me on to NOFX to begin with. You can't watch a band get barred from the venue they're going to play because of sketchy crime lord things, then have all the fans who meant to attend their show show up at their hotel to bid them goodbye and watch the singer break out a guitar and play an acoustic show right there in the hotel lobby without falling a little bit in love with them.


	4. Love Is Paranoid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had a request that I leave warnings around my smut scenes for this story. I am putting this here so if anyone else feels the need to request it, they'll know my answer: No. If you're reading an explicit story, expect it to actually contain explicit material. If it was a scene of violence, or rape, or something to that effect, yes, I would definitely leave some kind of warning in the chapter notes. But for a generic sex scene? Definitely not. If my stance on this upsets you and you don't wish to read this or any of my other stories further, that's fine with me. You have your parameters as a reader, and I have my parameters as a writer. If they don't mesh, well, that's too bad.

Chapter 4 – Love Is Paranoid

 

_I'm holding on_

_For what you do to me baby_

_There's no measure I've_

_Taken everything now I want_

_To give it I left the lights_

_On so you'd stumble in devotion_

_So easy, so easy_

_It's left unspoken I'm holding on_

_I've come to realize you're the only thing I want_

_Love Is Paranoid, The Distillers_

 

 _Remus, I love you but you_ need _to tell Sirius about your...thing. I know you have issues letting people in, but I can't see him reacting badly like the last asshat you were seeing. Tell. Him._

Alice's text glared at Remus like a string of offensive slurs.

True to his word, he took Moony and Sirius to the dog park on their next date, and watching them together he couldn't tell who was having more fun—Moony, or Sirius. He hung back near one of the benches sipping on a water bottle he'd brought along, and he watched as Sirius tore back and forth along the expanse of the park, grabbing at the scruff of Moony's neck as if he was playing tag with the dog, and taking off with Moony hot on his heels.

Normally when Remus came to the park with Moony he'd hang back and let him play with the other dogs or throw tennis balls for him, given that his running ability was slow and awkward, at best. He'd never been much of a runner to begun with, and he was definitely no Terry Fox. Watching Sirius run with his dog warmed his heart, and he was quite content to sit back and watch the pair of them play.

“Having fun?” Remus asked as Sirius wandered over to him, panting, and he offered the bottle to Sirius, who nodded his thanks before he guzzled down half of it in one. Moony followed him, growling and yipping as he bowed forward with his tail high in the air, clearly keen to keep playing with his new best friend.

“I'm pretty sure Moony like me best now,” Sirius replied with a grin, and Remus snorted, stowing away his mobile so that Sirius wouldn't see the text before he responded.

“Yeah, well I still feed him, so I'll regain his love tonight at dinnertime,” Remus said, his smile widening when Sirius barked a laugh. He closed the distance between them, Remus felt his breath catch as Sirius wound an arm around his waist and kissed him. Just like last time, it left him feeling slightly dazed, but in the best possible way. Distantly he heard the cluck of a disapproving onlooker, and the pair broke the kiss at the same time and turned to look and watched as a middle-aged woman gathered up her tiny dog (which Moony could probably eat in one mouthful if he had a mind to) and hurried from the park, casting them nasty glares every few steps.

“Well that was certainly a mood-killer,” Remus mumbled, still wrapped up in Sirius's arms while he stared at the chain link door where the woman had exited from.

“I dunno, kinda makes me want to do all sorts of nasty things right here just to cleanse this park of any other homophobes that might be lurking about,” Sirius murmured as he nipped at Remus's earlobe, making him chuckle softly.

“You're terrible,” he muttered, but at Moony's impatient whine Sirius reluctantly let him go and took off with the dog again.

Despite the week separating this date from their previous one, to Remus it felt as though no time had passed. This was thanks in large part to the fact that they'd been texting near-constantly since that first date. Remus had learned a great many things about Sirius in that time that they hadn't managed to cover during their date—like his intense love for his hair. He had sent Remus a photograph of himself somewhere around the middle of the week after Lily had done up his hair in a herringbone braid for him. The picture had been taken in the loo, and Remus got a delightful view of his alarmingly extensive collection of hair care products. He didn't even know any girls with that many products—unless you counted Alice's vast collection of Manic Panic hair dyes.

He'd also learnt that Sirius lived with the Potters—at first Remus had teased him about being a squatter, but he quickly learned that he was more or less a live-in babysitter for his godson, Harry. Remus had been sent more pictures of Harry than anything else, which rivalled the amount of cat pictures Alice had been known to send him. He couldn't exactly complain though, the kid was endearing, and had a look about him that told Remus he'd be trouble when he hit puberty.

Sirius had laid himself bare for him many times over the last week, opening up about his family, his upbringing, and his brother's suicide. Every time he learnt something new about Sirius, Remus felt a pang of guilt for not coming clean with his own _big secret._ He'd have to tell him soon.

 _I'm working up to it,_ Remus typed back, when he was certain that Sirius was otherwise occupied with Moony, _it's not easy to tell someone you've got a similar body type to Captain Hook when your last significant other bolted because you didn't have all your limbs in tact._

Alice replied almost instantly.

_You're making too much of this. Ableist douchebags are the minority. None of our mutual friends treat you any different because you're an amputee. You're just as capable as anyone else at doing whatever you like. I do not believe for a second that Sirius will think any less of you because of it. And if he does...I'll just have to beat him to death with a shovel for you._

Remus chuckled a little at her response, and after checking to see that Sirius was still playing with Moony, he typed his reply.

_Easy for you to say, you don't have to live with it. Sure, our mutual friends treat me the same, until it's a hot day and I throw on a pair of shorts. They look more at my prosthetic than they do at my face._

 

_Remus, that is such BULLSHIT. You're self-conscious of it, I get that, but not everyone is staring because they think less of you, and CERTAINLY not our friends. Someone with a prosthetic isn't something people see every day, they might be staring out of surprise or curiosity but not because they think you're a...lesser person or something for having it. From what you've told me, Sirius is decent(and I want to meet him properly soon!). He won't treat you differently because of it. Sack up and TELL HIM. Enjoy the rest of your date._

Remus gritted his teeth, but resisted the urge to send some cutting remark and forced himself to stow away his mobile. This was lucky, as at the same moment Sirius came jogging over to him.

“Hey, you okay? You look upset,” Sirius said as Remus looked up, and he forced his mouth into a faint smile.

“It's nothing,” Remus replied with a shrug, “just my friend's being a bit of a cunt.”

“Oh, that's always fun,” Sirius said with a faint smile, reaching out to embrace him and lightly brush his lips against Remus's. Sirius pressed his forehead against his and stared intently into his eyes with a wide smile. “I think I've utterly exhausted your dog, might be a good idea to walk him home.”

Remus looked over Sirius's shoulder, and laughed out loud when he saw Moony, flopped on his side and panting, looking very pleased with himself, but completely spent.

“C'mon Moony, wanna go home?” Remus lifted the leash and the dog jumped up and trotted over, and Remus hooked his leash on. He stopped long enough to let him have a long drink from the doggie fountain, then turned towards the exit, hand in hand with Sirius.

Moony was wiped enough from his run with Sirius that he trotted at Remus's side much more slowly than usual, and Sirius soon let go of Remus's hand and threw his arm over his shoulders. The warm weight made Remus smile, and he leaned into the contact while he mirrored the gesture by wrapping an arm about the man's waist.

It still freaked Remus out a little that he'd known the man for barely two weeks and already he felt so warm and familiar, but Remus did his best to push back his doubts. He'd begun to think that it was possible that Sirius wouldn't drop him the moment he found out about his leg, but after the debacle with Gilderoy, he couldn't help but be a little nervous.

They walked in silence back to Remus's duplex, and the moment he unhooked Moony's leash the big dog trotted to the bathroom, and he could hear the loud, wet slurps of him drinking out of the toilet.

A warm hand on his back drew Remus's attention back to Sirius, who was watching him like he was the most fascinating thing on the planet. Remus didn't know how he felt about the expression, as he still wasn't certain what Sirius found so fascinating about him, as Alice often teased that he was about as exciting as watching paint dry. He couldn't recall any of his exes ever looking at him like that, and while he didn't dislike the feeling, it did take some getting used to.

“Good second date?” Remus asked with a smile, and Sirius grinned in response, his hand trailing down to his trouser beltloops and used them to tug Remus into a lazy embrace. Remus's arms were squished between them, and Sirius was quick to capture his lips in a hungry kiss.

“Best,” he said softly, relaxing his grip so that Remus could extricate his arms and drape them lazily over his shoulders. Remus leaned in to kiss him, and in the back of his mind, he heard a little voice telling him, _it's time_.

“You know,” Remus murmured, his left hand moving to toy with Sirius's locks, “I don't think I really showed you around properly the last time you were here. Want to come in for a cuppa?”

Sirius's eyes gleamed mischievously at the unspoken invitation, and Remus swallowed a laugh. Remus hated to quash his hopes, but he had to come clean soon, otherwise Sirius would be in for quite the shock when they finally fucked.

“I'd love to,” he said, kissing Remus one last time before reluctantly letting him go to toe off his boots. Remus did the same with his trainers, and despite his best efforts to walk softly, the distinctive _thump_ of his prosthetic wasn't hard to miss in the silent flat. Remus caught the confused look in Sirius's eyes, but he said nothing, and instead followed him to his surgically clean kitchen.

“Damn,” Sirius said with a low whistle, “remind me to tidy before you come to visit the house for the first time. I mean, we aren't slobs by any means, but compared to you...”

“Don't worry about it,” Remus replied with a small laugh as he plugged in the kettle, selected the water temperature, then pulled down two mugs and his Yorkshire Gold tea. “I'm not bothered by other people's level of cleanliness, I just...like having things in their place. Do you take sugar or milk?”

Sirius shook his head and leant against the counter to watch Remus putter around, though he did not miss the way Sirius's eyes frequently shifted to his hidden prosthetic. Remus pretended that he hadn't noticed the look while he tried to come up with what to say, and how to say it. He couldn't help but think back to what Gilderoy had said and done, and again his anxiety wondered if Sirius would react similarly.

“No Moony,” Remus said without looking up, as the telltale clicks of his nails on the hardwood signalled him to the dog's latest attempt to sneak into the kitchen when he wasn't looking. Remus heard Sirius chuckle, and he turned to his house guest, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. “Is something funny?”

“You kind of remind me of James's mum,” Sirius said with a warm smile, “Not that I'm saying you're an older Punjabi woman or anything, but the eyes in the back of your head thing. She used to rip James a new one for trying to sneak food while she was making dinner without looking away from the cooker once. It's cute.”

“Well, er, thanks...I think,” Remus said with a small awkward laugh, and poured steaming water into both of the mugs. Sirius pushed himself off the edge of the counter and moved to Remus's side, pressed a kiss to his temple while he snaked an arm around his waist.

“It's a compliment, trust me,” Sirius murmured, and Remus felt his face grow warm.

Remus busied himself with his own tea, dropping in a spoonful of sugar and positively drowning it in milk, while he watched Sirius's nose wrinkle in disgust out of the corner of his eye. He ignored it and pressed the other mug into Sirius's hands, then escorted him to the front room.

Remus had inherited the duplex from his paternal grandfather, and it had been bought out from the landlord a great many years ago, meaning that aside from utilities and property tax, he didn't need to worry about rent or mortgage payments. It also meant that Remus had a huge place all to himself that he'd spent the last five years furnishing to his liking.

The front room had a small television crammed in the corner with a handful of DVDs below it, but most of the wall space had been taken up by floor-to-ceiling bookcases positively crammed with books. His cream sofa faced the television, but the coffee table was stacked with books he hadn't been able to fit on the shelves, instead of something like a candy dish or TV remote. The grey carpeting cushioned his footsteps, and he barked a laugh at the way Sirius's jaw dropped open in an almost cartoonish manner when he caught sight of Remus's book collection.

“ _Jesus_ , it's like a fucking library,” he said, and Remus's mouth tugged into a proud grin as he sat down and sipped his tea.

“I like to read,” he said with a shrug, and Sirius joined him, still staring at the bookshelves.

“I can see that, if you're a student how in the hell did you afford all these?”

“There's a used bookstore nearby, and all their books are fifty pence each. My spare change all ends up there,” Remus replied with a short laugh, “and some were gifts, and I get a discount at work. I'm definitely not rich.”

“It's an impressive collection, no matter how you came by them,” Sirius said, casually resting a hand on Remus's thigh while he settled back against the cushions and sipped his tea.

“I'm glad you approve,” Remus replied, for the moment feigning ignorance at the way the hand was ever so slowly sneaking its way up his thigh.

They drank their tea in silence, Sirius finishing first, and shifting his arm to rest along the back of the sofa, his fingertips toying with the sparse hairs at the back of Remus's neck, making him shiver with both desire and fear. It had been a while since he'd been intimate with anyone.

“Erm, Sirius,” Remus said, wincing at the way his voice shook a little as he set down the mug on the coffee table, “there's something about me that I haven't told you.”

“Am I about to find out the real reason for your stiff walk?” Sirius asked, arching a brow, and Remus felt himself flush.

“Er—yeah,” he said, and felt his mind go blank as he tried to come up with a way to say it. Nothing came to mind, no way to smoothly admit that he was an amputee, and with slightly shaking hands he opted for show and tell.

He stood, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius's eyebrows raise in surprise as he reached for the cuff of his left trouser leg, and slowly pulled it up.

Remus could remember Gilderoy's reaction the first and only time he saw Remus's prosthetic. Shock, closely followed by disgust, and finally admittance that he couldn't see someone who was _disabled._ This proclamation was followed by the man hastily leaving without so much as a backward glance. The memory still made him angry, and he hated how self-conscious he'd become following the breakup because of it.

Sirius was surprised; his mouth opened in a silent 'o', but Remus saw none of the disgust he'd seen with his ex. Remus quickly dropped the garment and sat back down.

“What happened?” Sirius asked softly, reaching forward to take his hands, his eyes straying to the hidden prosthetic a few times before he refocused his attention on Remus's face.

“I was in a car accident when I was little. My mother was driving drunk, she died on impact, I was thrown out of the car and...well, I don't remember much, and when I woke up a week later in hospital I was covered in bandages and missing my leg. My father had been beside himself, angry at my mother for making such a stupid decision, putting me in danger, all of it. He didn't really share his feelings on the matter with me until I was older, but he never touched alcohol again after that.”

“Jesus, that's awful...” Sirius paused, still holding onto Remus, but there was a shift in the saddened look on his face, from sympathy to something he couldn't completely identify. “Why didn't you tell me before?”

“When people find out, some have treated me like an invalid, like I can't do things just because I'm an amputee. I'm not disabled, I'm not _helpless_. I don't usually tell anyone unless I have good reason to. And...my last boyfriend didn't exactly react favourably when he found out.”

“Helpless is hardly a word I'd use to describe you,” Sirius said, leaning in to kiss Remus gently. Some of his shock at Sirius's easy acceptance must have shown on his face, because when he pulled back he chuckled a little, “what, you thought I'd be freaked out, disgusted? Do I come across as _that_ narrow-minded?”

“I dunno, I'm finding I really don't know what to expect with you,” Remus replied with a slight shrug. He resisted the urge to add in that he thought Sirius would have preferred someone able-bodied, but again it was almost as though Sirius could read his mind, as he reached out to pull Remus closer, and kissed him deeply.

“When I first saw you, I knew that I wanted you. Call it love at first sight, destiny, whatever, I don't care. Whether you have one leg or two legs, or a third nipple, I still want you—the adorable, meek twenty-five-year-old that dresses like a grandfather. The man who loves books, and has an adorable dog, and refuses to sit back and let people treat him differently because of his...well, you know. You're a strong man, confident in your own right, and anyone who thinks less of you because of that deserves a swift kick in the nads,” Sirius finished his little speech and kissed Remus again. “I might be a little in love with you, and your...er, one legged-ness doesn't change that.”

Remus had no idea what to say. His shock and relief bled together into a dizzying warm sensation in his chest, and instead of speaking he dragged Sirius forward and kissed him hard.

 

They spent the next little while alternating between snogging and just sitting together and chatting softly. Not for the first time Remus found himself amazed at how comfortable he felt with someone he'd met so recently. Moony seemed to be getting jealous of his owner, and kept nudging Sirius, begging for attention.

“Told you he liked me best now,” Sirius said with a short laugh as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

“Just wait until I feed him,” Remus said with a soft chuckle, “then we'll see who his favourite is.”

Seemingly content for the moment, Moony curled up on the carpet next to the sofa, and Sirius returned his attention back to Remus. For the last hour he'd wanted to ask Sirius something, but it felt a little silly asking. Even so, he pushed himself forward, given that most of his anxieties surrounding Sirius seemed to be unfounded.

“Sirius?”

“Hm?” Sirius's hand stilled where it had been sneaking up his thigh again, and he turned to meet Remus's eye.

“Would you...er, I mean, if you want...could you sing something for me?” Remus asked, and he felt a flush colour his cheeks when Sirius's eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I mean, you don't _have_ to if you don't want to,” he added in a rush, “but in the shop when you first properly asked me out...I just really liked your voice.”

“What would you like to hear?”

“Anything.”

Sirius eased back against the sofa, a thoughtful look on his face, and after a moment he cleared his throat and began to sing softly. Remus closed his eyes to listen.

 

“ _I'll come down to get you high,_

_Or maybe sing you a lullaby._

_Sing you to sleep,_

_A sleep you'll never wake from,_

_Sing you to coma, so to speak._

 

_When I fall down I fall apart,_

_Trade in my bike for a shopping cart,_

_And beg change from a world that needs some,_

_Like I need someone._

 

_So where are you, my little needle?_

_The stack's been burned away,_

_But I'm so inebriated that I cannot see,_

_Three feet in front of me,_

_Between the moon and you,_

_Lunacy is setting in._

 

_Lately I've been feeling dead inside,_

_Like my guts have dried up and died._

_But every night I water them back to life,_

_Yeah every night, I water them back to life._

 

_When I fall down I fall apart,_

_Trade in my bike for a shopping cart,_

_And beg change from a world that needs some,_

_I'm tired of sleeping alone._

 

_So where are you, my little needle?_

_The stack's been burned away,_

_But I'm so inebriated that I cannot see,_

_Three feet in front of me,_

_Between the moon and you,_

_Lunacy is setting in._ ”

 

Sirius's voice trailed off, and Remus opened his eyes, a faint smile on his face. He sat up a little, and kissed Sirius tenderly.

Remus's hand wound into Sirius's soft hair, and for the first time, Remus truly began to believe that things might actually work out between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For those of you who don't know, Terry Fox was a Canadian cancer activist and athlete, and was a leg amputee. In 1980 he ran across Canada for cancer awareness, called the Marathon of Hope. He made it from St. John's, NL to Thunder Bay, ON, before he was forced to stop because the cancer had spread to his lungs. That's a total of 3 990KM or 2 479 miles.
> 
> Songs in this chapter: My Little Needle by Alkaline Trio (I originally wanted to use We Can Never Break Up by Alk3, but it was too cheesy in this context, even for a gag-worthy romantic like me XD)


	5. The Dirty Glass

Chapter 5 – The Dirty Glass

 

_Murphy, Murphy, darling dear_

_I long for you now night and day_

_Your pain was my pleasure, your sorrow my joy_

_I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer_

_The Dirty Glass – Dropkick Murphys_

 

 

A month later, Remus was still stuck in a state of shock that he was dating someone like Sirius Black.

It had little to do with Remus's own self-esteem issues, and more to do that he never really saw himself dating a musician. He'd always pictured himself with another book nerd, and as such his surprise that it seemed to be going so well was a little alarming. Most unfortunately, despite Remus's desire to go further with Sirius, one thing or another was always on hand to interrupt them: Moony mistaking their snogging for playing, and burrowing himself between the pair, once again forgetting that he was not, in fact, a lap dog. If it was at Sirius's place, they'd be lucky if they had thirty seconds to themselves, as the moment the door to Sirius's chaotic bedroom shut, there would be a little fist knocking on the door, followed by Sirius's godson asking what they were doing. It was maddening.

 

Friday afternoon after his classes, Remus was sitting on a park bench outside the Language Arts building waiting for Sirius to pick him up. His nose was buried in a battered copy of _Moby Dick_ , and out of the corner of his eye he spotted Gilderoy hitting on one of their classmates. The fact that he was intentionally in Remus's line of vision struck him as rather funny, especially considering this would be the first time his ex would catch sight of his gorgeous new boyfriend.

As if on cue, Sirius's motorbike roared up to the kerb, and Remus couldn't help but grin at the thunderstruck look on his ex's face when he stood and stowed the book in his satchel, and stepped up to Sirius to catch his lips in a kiss. Sirius's arm immediately wrapped around his waist, drawing the kiss out a little longer than was probably necessary.

“Hey baby,” he purred against Remus's mouth, and he felt himself flush a little at the pet name. “Ready for curry night with a pack of Potters? Oh...and Severus,” he wrinkled his nose a little, and Remus pressed his lips into a thin line in an effort to keep his distaste for Sirius's attitude towards Lily's friend to himself. He rather liked Severus's wit and snark, though it was clear that Sirius, James, and Severus had some kind of history. He wasn't exactly keen to get in the middle of a family feud, and thus far he'd managed to keep his opinions of Sirius's attitude to himself.

“I'm ready. Do you guys have plenty of milk handy for when James kills all my tastebuds?”

“I told him to tone down on the spice this time, I promise,” Sirius replied with a short laugh. Somehow, Remus doubted that that would make a difference. “'Sides, it's good for you. Makes you sweat and gets all the toxins out.”

“My tastebuds for getting toxins out of my system doesn't seem like a fair trade,” Remus replied sarcastically, and Sirius barked a laugh. Remus stepped back a little from the embrace as Sirius fished out a helmet for him, which he accepted gladly. Remus could feel Gilderoy's gaze burning into him, but he seemed too shocked to actually walk over to them and drop a scathing ableist remark. He pulled on the helmet, accepted Sirius's help onto the back of the bike, and they took off with a roar from the engine.

Sirius lived with James, Lily, and their tiny terror known as Harry in a rented house in Chiswick. With their combined incomes on top of Sirius's considerable inheritance they could afford it easily, and aside from playing in a band and attending Gen Ed university night classes, Sirius was more or less Harry's live-in babysitter. The house was nice, and there was enough space for the four of them to live comfortably without feeling like they were constantly on top of each other.

Pulling up to the little redbrick house now, it had begun to feel like an extension of home. Sirius had barely kicked down the stand for the bike in the garage before a little bespectacled boy burst from the side door and barrelled into Sirius's legs, hard enough that Sirius let out a little, ' _oof!_ ' of surprise.

“Uncle Sirius, Uncle Sirius, you're back! Hi Remus! How come Moony didn't come too?” Sirius laughed to the excited boy's barrage of exclamations and questions, and hoisted him up on his shoulders, while Harry kept himself balanced by holding onto Sirius's hair.

“Hi Harry,” Remus replied with a short laugh, “Moony wouldn't fit on the back of Sirius's motorbike. I promise I'll bring him next time.”

Harry bounced on Sirius's shoulders excitedly at the prospect, causing Remus to laugh a little. Like Sirius, Harry was completely besotted with his dog.

“James, we're here!” Sirius called the moment they'd stepped inside, setting Harry down so he could tear off down the hallway towards his bedroom.

“I heard!” James called back, stepping out of the kitchen in a stained, white apron that read _Kiss the cook_ on it. He was holding a Chinese aubergine in one hand, and a wickedly sharp knife in the other. “Hey Remus, good to see you!”

“Hi,” Remus replied with a faint smile, toeing off his shoes at the door and hanging up his bag before he followed Sirius further inside. Though Sirius had kept his word and hadn't 'outed' his amputee status to anyone, James and Lily had figured it out anyway, and Harry had become convinced that Remus was actually a pirate. Had it come from anyone but an overactive child, Remus would have been mildly offended, but it was difficult to not laugh when Harry would ask if he knew Captain Hook or Blackbeard, or beg Remus to play pirates with him.

“I hope you're hungry, I've got rice, naan, and aubergine curry. And I made it a little more bland at Sirius's request to spare your boring Welsh tastebuds,” he said, shaking his head a little as though the mere idea of leaving out some of the heat was sacrilegious.

“It's appreciated,” Remus replied with a short laugh.

“You want a beer?” James asked, stepping back into the kitchen, while Remus and Sirius followed. “Or...Lily's making some ridiculous froofy drink with mango juice and vodka...”

“Beer's fine,” Remus said, and Sirius stepped further into the kitchen to pull one from the fridge, pop the cap, and hand it back to him. He nodded his thanks and eyed Sirius quizzically. “You're not drinking?”

“I have to drive you home later, don't want to chance it,” he said, draping an arm over Remus's shoulders as a mischievous grin stretched across his face, “Unless you want to sleep over, then I could drink and we could—”

“Uh-uh,” Lily said as she appeared at the opposite side of the kitchen where a second door was located, a large glass jug in one hand, and a frosted bottle of Absolut in the other. “Your room is right next to Harry's Sirius, I don't want you two to traumatize him just yet.”

“Yet?” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It's only a matter of time before he walks in on something, I just want to wait until he's a little bit older before we have to explain about the birds and the bees, or why his uncle is making all sorts of weird grunting noises in the middle of the night,” she said, setting down the jug and unscrewing the cap before upending the vodka into the jug, and headed for the fridge where she pulled out a carton of mango juice and returned to her so-called _froofy drink._

“I do not _grunt_ ,” Sirius said over Remus's laughter. “As with all things, my sexual exploits are elegant as fu—stuff,” he amended not a moment too soon as Harry toddled into the kitchen, something in his hands badly wrapped in brown paper. Both James and Lily had snorted derisively at the same time, while Harry appeared ignorant to their conversation as he stepped back over to Remus.

“Mummy said it was your birthday last Wednesday,” Harry said, and Remus chuckled a little.

“Yes, it was, I turned twenty-six,” he replied, and Harry's eyes went wide.

“That's _old_!” he exclaimed, while Sirius roared with laughter next to him. He spun quickly to look at his mother, “Mummy, will I ever be as old as Remus?”

“One day you will,” she said in a tight voice, clearly trying to keep from laughing, though James and Sirius had no such qualms, and laughed their heads off.

“Oh.” He turned back to Remus. “I got this for you. Mummy helped me pick it out,” he said, and pressed the little package into Remus's hands.

“Thank you Harry,” he said with a chuckle, and unwrapped the little gift to find...a Pirate Pez dispenser. He looked up, and Harry's wide eyes were gleaming with nervous hope, and Remus merely chuckled and crouched down to give the little boy a hug. “It's perfect, thank you Harry.”

Thrilled that his gift was a success, he ran over to his mother and tugged on the edge of her jumper.

“Mummy!” he said in a carrying whisper, “Remus liked his present!”

“I saw,” she said with a small giggle, “see? You had no reason to be worried. Now, go wash up. Your Uncle Sev should be here soon, and dinner is almost ready.” Both Sirius and James grunted at the mention of Severus, and Lily glared at each of them in turn, all but daring them to make some snide remark. Neither man was brave enough to say anything that might incite Lily's wrath, and with a slightly strained laugh, Sirius steered Remus back into the hall.

“C'mon, we can sit for a little bit until dinner,” Sirius said, that hopeful glint in his eye. Remus chuckled; it didn't take a genius to work out that by _sit_ Sirius meant _snog._

He wasn't complaining however, and Remus allowed Sirius to steer him down the hall and to his bedroom.

When Sirius had claimed to be a packrat, Remus had assumed that he'd been exaggerating. This was not the case.

Sirius's futon was stuffed into a modestly sized bedroom, but the space looked much smaller than it actually was thanks in large part to the ridiculous amount of stuff crammed into the space.

Shelves upon shelves of CDs, cassettes, and vinyl, an enormous desk with a MacBook hooked up to a MIDI machine—which Remus had mistook for an electronic piano when he'd first seen it—electric and acoustic guitars, stacks of sheet music on almost every surface, thick photo albums that Sirius had shown him once, only to find no photographs, but instead ticket stubs from easily over one hundred different concerts, some with guitar picks stuck in next to them. The free wall space had been taken up by flyers and setlists of concerts he'd been to, and a number of drumsticks he'd caught at concerts and had properly framed.

It was cramped and cluttered, but it never felt messy to Remus. Sirius had been highly self-conscious of the state of the room when Remus had first visited, but he soon relaxed when he saw that Remus hadn't been put off by it.

Remus set down his beer on a coaster Sirius kept on his desk, and almost immediately Sirius closed the distance between them. Remus threw his arms over Sirius's shoulders and parted his lips, letting out a soft groan as they tasted each other.

Sirius coaxed him over to the futon, and they fell into a half-sitting tangle of limbs.

“You taste much better than curry,” Remus murmured softly, smiling when Sirius chuckled.

“I dunno, James makes damn good curry,” he replied, sneaking a hand under the front of Remus's jumper to tug lightly at the sparse hairs on his abdomen. Remus chuckled a little at the comment, his stomach sucking in at the tickling sensation. Sirius claimed his mouth again, and Remus's eyelids fluttered shut.

Remus would have been content to hide away in Sirius's room and snog, but at that same moment the door burst open with a bang and Harry came tearing into the room.

“Uncle Sirius, Remus! Mummy said...” He stopped short when he caught sight of them, and he cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Why were you two kissing?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, then both looked back to Harry at the same time.

“Er, well Harry...Remus and I are boyfriends. Sort of like your mummy and daddy. So we like to show each other how much we love each other by kissing sometimes,” Sirius said, and Remus pressed his lips together in an effort to keep from laughing at the way Harry wrinkled his nose.

“I don't think I want to kiss boys _or_ girls,” he said.

“Thank God for that,” Lily said as she leant into the room and smiled at the couple. “C'mon, Sev is here and dinner's ready.”

As with the last curry night Remus had attended, Harry did most of the talking.

He sat in his booster seat between his father and Severus, both older men not looking thrilled at the seating arrangements, with Lily at the head of the table and Remus and Sirius across from them. Hell would have frozen over before James and Severus willingly sat near to each other, but Harry had wanted to sit with both his father and his Uncle Sev, and as with everyone else, precious few people could say 'no' to Harry. He chattered away excitedly between the two men, completely indifferent to the tense atmosphere between them.

“Uncle Sev, Uncle Sev!” Harry said, tugging on the sleeve of the black turtleneck he wore.

“What is it Harry?” He turned slightly to peer at Harry through a curtain of lank hair.

“I saw Remus and Uncle Sirius _kissing_!”

Remus choked on a chunk of spicy aubergine, and Sirius clapped Remus on the back hard with one hand, while he buried his red face in the opposite one.

“Fascinating,” he said, casting a quick glance to the pair, while Harry still looked proud of his statement and curious at the same time.

“Do you ever kiss anybody Uncle Sev? Uncle Sirius said that people who love each other kiss all the time. You love my mummy, do you ever kiss her?”

It was Lily's turn to go rather red while James inhaled most of his beer foam through his nose, and Severus's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

“It's true that I love your mother, but as a friend. Friends don't normally kiss in the way you're thinking. And no, I find myself disinclined to engage in such activities,” Severus finished, turning back to his meal, though if Remus wasn't mistaken, he was sure he saw a glimmer of amusement in his eye.

“How come?” Harry cocked his head to the side, and James mumbled something inaudible, though Remus guessed it was a jibe aimed at Severus, as not three seconds later he saw Lily jerk in her seat and James winced, giving Remus the impression that she kicked him under the table.

“My brain is wired differently than other people's, and I find myself uninterested in personal relationships like the ones your parents or your...other Uncle...has.”

“ _Wired differently_ is putting it lightly,” Sirius muttered under his breath, and Remus elbowed him in an effort to shut him up.

“Oh,” Harry said as he looked down at his dinner thoughtfully. “I want to be like that too,” Harry said firmly, looking back up to Severus, his eyes blazing with childlike determination, “kissing is icky.”

If Remus wasn't mistaken, he saw the ghost of a smile grace the dour man's face.

 

After dinner and a round of sweet chai masala for everyone (made with rooibos for Harry), Lily scooped up the yawning tot and he bid everyone a sleepy good night. The group migrated to the sitting room, and Remus eased into Sirius's welcoming embrace while the four men waited for Lily to return.

The sitting room was very similar in style to Remus's, though along with the towering bookshelves stacked with books and movies there were a number of Lily's paintings framed up on the walls, most still-life of portraits of Harry. An awkward silence fell in Lily's absence, and Remus shifted uncomfortably as he watched the silent, suspicious glares both Sirius and James shot at Severus.

“Er—how has work been, Severus?” Remus asked, “Any more students spill sulphuric acid on their bollocks?”

“Just the one. I had my A-Level classroom purged of any more dunderheaded students who fancy themselves proper chemists,” he said, and chanced a glance at the hall that led to the bedrooms. It was clear to Remus that he was anxious for Lily to return. At least Sirius and James were being civil—or, at least quiet, for the moment. “The headmaster wasn't pleased, but I'll not put up with any silliness in my class.”

“No, I can't imagine you would,” Remus replied with a small smile, shifting uncomfortably as Sirius had taken to trailing his hand down Remus's spine and sneaking it under his jumper. He tried to elbow Sirius subtly to get him to stop, but he feigned ignorance to Remus's hint.

Thankfully, Lily appeared not long after they'd once more descended into silence, and there was a collective sigh of relief when she returned, acting as a buffer between her husband and her best friend.

“He go down all right?” James asked as she swept past Severus and squeezed his shoulder, then sat at James's side.

“Out like a light,” she replied with a soft smile. “He wasn't even awake enough to watch me check his closet and turn on his nightlight before he was asleep. To much excitement, I expect.”

“Yes I can imagine walking in on a depraved homosexual mating ritual must be fairly traumatic,” Severus replied dryly, and Remus bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing while Sirius glared at him and Lily swatted his shoulder.

“Oh, stop it Sev,” Lily said with laughter in her voice, “it's not their fault that Harry never remembers to knock first before barging in.”

“At least they were _only_ kissing,” James said, smirking slightly, “knowing Sirius it could've been much worse. I can't imagine how we'd explain to him why his uncle was handcuffed and with a man brandishing a bull whip and—”

“That was _one time_ James,” Sirius cut across him hotly, his face colouring while Severus and Remus both looked on with amused smiles. “You're like a dog with a bone.”

“So?”

“So it's my bone, just drop it,” Sirius said, withdrawing his hand from the back of Remus's jumper and crossing his arms across his chest.

“As much fun as it is watching Black sulk like an overgrown toddler,” Severus said, ignoring Sirius's, ' _Oi!'_ of indignation, “I should get going, I have to finish my lesson plans for tomorrow.”

“Oh, all right,” Lily said, sounding a little disappointed, “I'll walk you out.”

Severus stood and Lily followed, pausing long enough to nod towards Remus before the pair swept down the hall, their low, murmured voices fading away.

“Thank _God_ ,” James said softly enough so that Lily wouldn't catch it, and Sirius murmured his agreement.

“I'll _never_ understand why Lily is friends with that git,” Sirius grumbled, and James's jaw tensed as though he was clenching his teeth.

Remus kept quiet as he watched the pair. Their animosity towards Severus always made him uneasy, but he had no idea how to address it without feeling like he was overstepping his bounds. He'd been seeing Sirius for barely a month and a half, after all, and he wasn't sure if it was his place to chastise the pair for their behaviour. That didn't stop him from feeling uneasy whenever they got started, however.

“Wasn't she childhood friends with him or something?” Sirius asked, and James nodded tightly. Remus saw jealousy in the man's eye, but Remus doubted it was founded. If Remus understood his statement to Harry over dinner correctly, the man was asexual, and thus James really had nothing to worry about. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes darting between the two. Sirius pulled Remus a little closer, but the tense conversation had made him deeply uncomfortable.

Remus stood up slowly, his movements a little sluggish from sitting so stiffly, and Sirius's eyes widened a little.

“Where're you going?” He asked.

“Relax,” Remus replied with a faint smile, “nature calls.”

Sirius nodded and slouched back against the sofa, but still looked a little troubled as Remus walked quietly down the hall and to the loo. He closed and locked the door, and sat down on the closed toilet lid and withdrew his mobile.

Remus unlocked it and selected Alice's name, but faltered as he chewed on the inside of his cheek as he stared at the blank text message, trying to decide what to say.

 

_When is it appropriate to call out your boyfriend when he's being an arse?_

 

Remus hit send, and it took Alice less than a minute to respond.

 

_Context?_

 

Remus paused again, glanced at the bathroom door, then back to the phone.

 

_I'm at Sirius's for dinner with his friends. James, his wife Lily, their son Harry, and Lily's close friend Severus. Severus is kind of...difficult to describe. He's really serious and sort of has this dry sarcasm that almost no one seems to get. There's some kind of history between him and Sirius and James, but I don't know the whole story. All evening Sirius and James have been sort of...well, they've been enormous twats towards Severus, and it made things pretty awkward. I just don't know if it's my place to say anything to Sirius, we haven't been seeing each other that long._

 

Remus hesitated for a moment, then sent the response. At the same moment, a knock sounded from the other side of the door.

“Remus? You all right in there?” Sirius called, his voice sounding worried.

“Fine,” Remus called back, “I'll be out in a minute.”

Remus listened to the soft shuffle of Sirius's footsteps fading away, just as his phone buzzed again.

 

_I know you're not the confrontational type, so maybe phrase it less like, 'stop being an arse,' and more like 'your attitude towards Lily's friend makes me uncomfortable.' I have a feeling Sirius might respond better to that than something that's too in-your-face, you know? I hope that helps._

 

Remus smiled at the text, and responded with a quick, _Thanks,_ before he flushed the toilet, ran the faucet to make it sound like he'd actually gone, and headed back into the sitting room with Alice's words in mind.

Remus settled down next to Sirius, who automatically wrapped an arm around his waist and offered him a gentle squeeze. Remus did not miss how much less tense the atmosphere seemed to him, and he eased into comfortable conversation with the others.

At the end of the evening, Remus hadn't an opportunity to speak to Sirius privately, and he felt even more bothered by it as he settled behind Sirius on his bike and he took off for Remus's home. Remus pressed his head against the centre of Sirius's back and heaved a sigh as he thought everything over. If Sirius noticed his mood, he didn't comment on it. 

Remus invited Sirius in so he could see Moony, who immediately jumped up to lick his face excitedly.

“Okay,” Sirius said as he laughed and pushed the dog down halfheartedly, “okay Moony knock it off!”

Remus intervened and pulled the dog down, but Moony stayed put at Sirius's side, ears pricked as he waited to get more attention from his new best friend.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Sirius asked as he wrapped an arm around Remus's waist and pulled him into a casual embrace.

“All of my taste buds are more or less in tact, so I'd call that a success,” Remus replied, smiling faintly up at Sirius. “I'd have a better time if you tried to get along with Severus though.”

The words had the effect Remus expected, and Sirius's amiable expression immediately soured.

“He—” Sirius began, but Remus cut across him.

“—He's Lily's best friend. It's obvious that Harry adores him as much as he adores you, and if you and James keep up this sour puss routine someone is going to end up hurt.” Remus paused, and took several deep breaths to keep himself calm. This definitely wasn't the way he'd wanted to phrase it, but now that he'd started, he felt like he couldn't stop. “Sirius, I don't want to get in the middle of your family feud, I just—whatever happened between you three, it's in the past. I just feel like you have more to gain by being at least civil with him instead of being an arse.”

Remus fell silent and chewed the inside of his cheek out of nervousness, but the warmth between them had very suddenly disappeared. Sirius stepped back, his eyes cold and hard.

“I never thought you'd choose someone like _Snivellus_ over me. He _shouldn't_ be friends with Lily, she's too good for him!” Sirius snapped, and Remus sputtered at the implication.

“I'm _not_ picking anyone over you Sirius, and it's not your nor James's decision who Lily is friends with. I'm just saying that maybe you should try extending the proverbial olive branch instead of—” he cut himself off and shook his head when he saw that his words weren't sinking in. “Forget it. Goodnight Sirius.”

Sirius gave him one last look, somewhere between hurt and anger, and he stalked out of the duplex without looking back.

Next to him, Moony began to whine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't actually know if they have Pez in the UK, I'm just guessing. 
> 
> Because I had a question about this and I had no idea how to answer it on the fly, I'll stick it here. The genres the bands I've featured thus far fall into these genres (though a lot of it is open to debate for music nerds like me, and if you ask someone else you might get a different answer) Black Flag: Hardcore*, The Casualties: Hardcore*, The Bouncing Souls: 2nd Wave Punk, Alkaline Trio: 3rd Wave Punk/1st Wave Emo, Against Me!: 3rd Wave Punk, The Lawrence Arms: 3rd Wave Punk, Brand New: 1st Wave Emo, The Ramones: 1st Wave Punk, The Distillers: 3rd Wave Punk, and The Dropkick Murphys: Celtic Punk. If anyone wants me to continue including the genres along with the songs used in the chapters/as chapter titles, let me know in the comments and I will.  
> *= '80s Hardcore, not that screamo stuff that tries to pass as hxc these days.


	6. Good Fucking Bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I should probably preface this chapter by saying that it's a cliche trainwreck. I had a really hard time getting it to a point where it kind of works, and even after totally rewriting it three times, I still wasn't completely happy with it. That said, I have no idea how you guys will feel about this one. Hopefully I'm overthinking it and its not as bad as my Writer's Self-Doubt thinks it is...

Chapter 6 – Good Fucking Bye

 

_When you lose hope it's hard to cope,_

_Watching the tyranny with sober eyes._

_At daybreak and sunset,_

_All hours in between are spent murdering time._

_You made for a bad lover's liver,_

_You sold all the covers and fucked up my head._

_You made me such an asshole,_

_I wish we'd never met._

_Good Fucking Bye – Matt Skiba_

 

“It's been a couple of hours and I haven't seen hide nor hair of that painfully attractive boyfriend of yours,” Emmeline commented as Remus returned from his lunch break and wandered to the front of the shop with a towering stack of misplaced books. “Doesn't he usually wander in by now to distract you and force me to give you a little hairy eyeball?”

Remus frowned and picked up the top book on the stack, which was a Nature biography called _Deep._ He didn't answer right away as he stared at the book, replaying the argument in his head for the umpteenth time that day, wondering if he'd been out of line after all.

“We sort of had a fight last night and he stormed off,” Remus said, beginning to sort the books by section as he talked. “It wasn't even anything like...big. I was just calling him out on his behaviour towards someone, and he just...lost it.”

“Well if he was out of line, you were right to mention it,” Emmeline said reasonably, taking half the stack and following his lead in sorting them out. Remus nodded his thanks as he shrugged to her statement.

“It's a bit complicated and I don't know the whole story, but he was being an arse to his best mate's wife's best friend. They have some sort of history, but instead of acting like an adult he insists on acting like I've betrayed him for daring to call him out on his bullshit,” Remus grumbled, slamming down a baby-naming book into the Parenting pile a little harder than necessary.

“Does this friend stand up for himself when Sirius and the other get started?” She asked, handing him a short stack of travel guides, which he set aside.

“He's no pushover; he can definitely hold his own, but it's obvious he doesn't want to cause trouble for Lily too, so he almost never engages them when they start shooting snide remarks at him,” Remus said, and handed her a thesaurus for her Reference pile.

“Well, from what you've told me you were right in bringing it up. If Sirius is going to be a stubborn arse about some past feud, it's not your problem. He'll either come to his senses and come crawling back to you, begging for forgiveness, or he won't,” she said, her matter-of-fact tone not as reassuring to Remus as it normally would have been. She nodded as Remus passed her a handful of graphic novels. “I like Sirius,” Emmeline continued, “I do, but don't bend just because he's being stubborn. You're in the right here, he's not. Don't go running back to him. Let him come to you.”

Remus looked up and she smiled at him, a faint gesture he returned, though he hoped he could hold out. He already desperately missed Sirius's near-constant text messaging. He scooped up a pile of horror novels to keep his hands busy and curb the impulse he suddenly had to hug her.

“Thanks Em,” he said, and her smile widened.

“Anytime.”

He passed the rest of the work day mulling over Emmeline's words, and though she was right, it was still frustrating that Sirius blew up at him like that. _Of all the stupid things to fight over..._ he thought miserably, and brushed his hand over the bulge in his trouser pocket where his mobile was. It had been silent all day.

At five o'clock, Remus swung his satchel over his shoulder and stepped out of the shop as the evening staff took over his duties, and he found a dark-haired man waiting outside for him. However, it was not the dark-haired man he had expected.

“Severus,” Remus said with a nervous nod of his head. It didn't take a genius to work out why he was there, and he curled a hand over his bag strap in an effort to hide how nervous he was.

“Remus,” he replied with a similar nod of greeting. “I received a rather interesting text message from Lily this morning...Black apparently ranting and raving about you being in love with me. Care to clarify what actually happened?”

Remus groaned in frustration, and covered his face with his hands.

“If it helps,” Severus added before Remus could speak, “I am generally not inclined to believe anything that comes spouting out of that ingrate's mouth. However, I _am_ curious as to how he came to that highly entertaining conclusion,” Severus said, and Remus peered over his fingers at the other man, and the faintest twitch of his cheek muscle gave Remus the impression that that was the man's equivalent of a smile.

“I'm not interested in you like that,” Remus said with a huff. “I just...Sirius is being an idiot—”

“—Which of course if nothing new,” Severus filled in, causing Remus to frown slightly. “What few brain cells he possessed while at school have been burnt out by his attempt at becoming the next Joey Ramone or whomever.”

“—Do I look like I know who that is?” Remus snapped, and Severus's eyes widened a little in surprise at his tone. Remus frowned, “Sorry. Last night, after he took me home I tried to talk to him. I didn't like how he and James treated you, and I wasn't trying to...I don't know, overstep my bounds, it just...made me uncomfortable. You're best friends with Lily, they should at least try to be mature adults and be civil. I told him essentially that and he may have blown it wildly out of proportion.”

As Remus fell silent, he found it difficult to gauge Severus's response to his explanation. He pushed off the wall, and jerked his head, signalling Remus to come with him.

“Come with me,” he said in that same smooth, indifferent tone of voice, “we should talk. There's a coffee shop nearby. Though if that neanderthal you call a boyfriend catches us together, I imagine he'll resort to some ridiculous display of testosterone poisoning.”

Remus noticed a glint in those dark eyes of his that suggested that the idea had some merit—at least, from his standpoint—but Remus wasn't exactly keen to make things any worse. He nodded silently and fell in step with him, and they walked the two blocks to the nearby café, dotted with a few uni students, but was otherwise empty.

Severus bought a strong black coffee and Remus a tea latte, and they chose a booth towards the back of the shop. For all Severus's bravado, it was clear he was no more keen to incite Sirius's ridiculous jealousy than Remus was.

“So,” Remus prompted once they'd gotten settled, “you said we should talk. I assume I'm about to learn more about your history with the others?”

Severus did not immediately answer, and instead blew on his hot coffee before he took a fortifying sip. He remained quiet, so long in fact that Remus had begun to get mildly impatient by the time he finally began to speak.

“I went to the same secondary school as your boyfriend, Lily, and her...husband,” he sneered the last word, and continued quickly. “I knew Lily before that. We were childhood friends, our houses being near to each other, and we spent a lot of time together growing up.

“My mother had attended the prestigious school, and was dead-set on sending me there as well. You needed money and some actual brains to get in, but most unfortunately, my grandparents squandered what little fortune we had on poor investments, and to say we were destitute would be a gross understatement,” Severus said, pausing as he steepled his fingers and regarded Remus over the top of them. Remus squirmed uncomfortably in his seat as Severus spoke. He felt like he had no right to know these things about Severus—a man he'd only known a very short while—and he couldn't quite see _why_ he was sharing such intimate details of his past with Remus at all.

“My mother scrimped and saved for years, working herself near to death in order to afford the costs of sending me there. So when I showed up for the train with Lily—she had only taken the school's entrance exams because she knew one way or another, I would be attending—with second-hand books and a second-hand uniform, I was not exactly regarded with any sense of welcome by the children from better off families. As you probably know, Black and Potter came from _estates_. They had bigger trust funds than I could make in a year at present, and they had no concept of people who struggled to make ends meet. Potter was obsessed with Lily the moment he saw her, and he had decided that she did not need to _lower_ herself to associate with a pauper like myself. Black agreed.”

“I hated them as vehemently as they hated me, and when they started to pull pranks on me, I would retaliate with equal venom. In the Phys. Ed. showers they stole my clothes and my towel, and I responded by putting Nair in Black's shampoo, and peroxide in Potter's.” Severus smirked, and Remus had to swallow a laugh. With how obsessive Sirius was with his hair, he could only imagine the reaction such a prank would cause.

“They would respond with another prank, glue on a toilet seat, I 'borrowed' a Petrie dish containing a certain delightful little parasite, and had my partner in crime in their dormitory 'accidentally' let them loose on their bedsheets.” Severus paused to sip his coffee, his eyes glittering with amusement, and Remus was torn between amusement at their games, and abject horror for what his boyfriend had put Severus through.

“It continued to escalate to them using a game hunting trap to suspend me in a tree, and left me there overnight. I would have been stuck, had it not been for Lily, who heard about what happened, and she helped me down. By that point, as you can imagine, I'd had enough and I did the most damaging thing I could think of to your dear boyfriend.”

“Do I want to know?” Remus asked, cocking a brow at him. Severus smirked in response.

“I sent an anonymous letter to his parents with a number of incriminating photographs, detailing his sexual orientation. They were not exactly pleased, as I understand it. They kicked him out of the house, disinherited him, and forbade his brother, Regulus, to speak with him, for fear that he might somehow spread his homosexuality to him. And then I added insult to injury by spreading the news to anyone I could, and this being a private school, well, people weren't what you would call open-minded. His reputation was utterly destroyed.”

“That's pretty low, Severus,” Remus replied, frowning at him. Severus shrugged.

“I'm sure you can understand why I feel very little remorse for him, considering what he and Potter put me through,” he said crisply, and Remus nodded his head once. He didn't like it, nor approve of it, but he could definitely understand it. “And then, in seventh year, Lily suffered severe head trauma in the form of beginning to date Potter. Obviously, I disapproved, but she swore that he was changed, and I dropped it.

“Because of that, I suddenly found myself forced to associate with my two tormentors. I was unwilling to sacrifice my friendship with Lily just because of who she was seeing. She tried to keep Potter from harassing me, but things were never what you would call _friendly_ between the three of us. By then, it had been discovered that their friend Pettigrew had cheated and plagiarized his way into the school and had been expelled, and it seemed as though they were looking for someone to replace him. They tried to use me as their lackey, but after all I'd put up with from them, I wasn't about to subject myself to further torment for their amusement.”

Remus felt even more uncomfortable than he had been that morning. This image Severus painted of someone he cared so deeply about hurt, and he wondered how much of it was exaggerated. From his flat tone of voice and the way he never made eye contact with Remus, he had a feeling he was trying to keep as close to the truth as he could, though the resentment that edged his words wasn't hard to miss.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Remus asked, unable to raise his voice any higher than a hurt whisper. Severus finally looked at him, and his impassive expression twitched into a frown.

“I'm getting there,” he said, “Potter had decided that the reason I hung around with Lily was that I harboured some sort of unrequited love for her. I loved her, and still do, she is not a person you can know and _not_ love—but regardless of how many variations of 'I love her like a sister,' I said to them, and my explanations that I was asexual all fell on deaf ears. I believe that to an extent Potter will always believe his delusion, but compared to how things used to be, what you saw the other night was about as close to friendly as we will ever get. I care for Lily, and I care for Harry. I will not sacrifice my relationship with either of them just because those two imbeciles think Lily could _do better_.”

“Then why do you?” Remus asked as Severus's tale came to a close, “associate with them, I mean. I don't understand why you'd put yourself through that.”

Severus sipped on his coffee thoughtfully, then refocused his gaze on Remus.

“At first, it was because I was unwilling to let Black and Potter force me out of Lily's life because _they_ had decided who was and was not acceptable for her to associate with, but later...Harry. His unfortunate gene pool aside, I care for him as much as I would if he were my flesh and blood nephew. I won't let them win, and though Black will deny it until he's blue in the face—” Severus paused, his eyes glittered and his mouth pulled into a small smirk, “—Harry has always liked me best. I do believe if I gave in and stopped coming round when Lily invited me, he would be most distressed at my absence.”

Remus chuckled, more amused by the self-satisfied look on the man's face than anything else. But following his tale, Remus had no idea what Severus sought out to accomplish by telling him all of this.

“Why did you tell me any of this?” Remus asked, and sipped his drink before he continued. “I mean, are you trying to split us up or...what? I don't get it.”

“I am merely trying to show you where his reaction originated from. His modest roots as my secondary school tormentor aside, he is... _insecure._ ” Severus sneered the word, and it did not take much of a stretch of the imagination to guess that many adults had probably told Severus that in his youth to explain away Sirius and James's treatment of him. “It showed in the last handful of partners he's had. I value the shape my nose is, and as such I did not feel compelled to comment on it directly. I believe—and I will deny it if you ever tell him so—that he genuinely cares for you, or at least as much as someone like him _can_ , but he cannot make the distinction between friendship and romantic affection. As a result, he reacts rather badly to—”

“—What the _fuck_?”

The sudden voice startled the pair out of their conversation. Severus whirled around and Remus's gaze snapped up, and his jaw dropped when he saw Sirius standing there, looking both horrified and infuriated at what he was seeing. He heard Severus hiss a curse, but Remus's attention was too focused on Sirius to catch it.

“Sirius, wait—” Remus began, standing up quickly, but Sirius had already spun on his heel and stormed off. Remus ignored Severus's mutter of, _'_ what _a drama queen...'_ as he hurried to catch up with Sirius before he took off on his bike.

“Sirius!” Remus cried, following him out of the café's doors and broke into an awkward run, and only just managed to catch up with him before he kicked the ignition on his bike. “You would stop for a second and listen to me?”

“ _Why_?” He snapped, turning to face Remus. “What I saw was enough. If you were going to leave me for someone like _him_ the least you could've done is had the balls to say it to my face you—”

 

_Smack!_

 

Sirius's words were cut off as Remus lost the last of his patience and slapped him across the face. His head snapped to the side sharply and his cheek flushed pink from where Remus had hit him. Remus's palm stung, but he was too angry at Sirius to react properly to the pain.

“Now you listen to me you utter cock,” Remus said, ignoring the alarmed looks of passer-bys at they stared at the pair. “I am _not_ interested in Severus. He is asexual, and from what I gather he's told you so a number of times. That said, he is not interested in _me_ either. I am interested in _you,_ you idiot. I said what I said last night because I think you're being incredibly childish, treating Severus like that. Get over it. You were horrible to Severus, and Severus was an absolute shit for outing you, but you _both_ should have known better. The past is past, you cannot change it. But if you continue acting this way I can't see much of a future for us, because I will _not_ share my life with a bully.”

Remus was breathing heavily by the time he'd finished his speech, and Sirius stared at him as though he'd been slapped again. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound came out.

“I'm sorry,” he said at last, though it sounded like it pained him to say it. “Lily has told us the same thing, but it's tough to break old habits. I just—I don't trust him. Not after what he did. I mean, my family...they're not people I'd want to know, but...” Sirius trailed off and shook his head.

“Neither of you were in the right, Sirius,” Remus said softly, “but you finished secondary school _nine_ years ago. Don't you think it's time you two put the past behind you, and tried to mend things? I gather that Harry would be most upset if you forced Severus out of his life, or if he forced you out of Harry's.” Sirius snorted derisively at the latter part of Remus's words, and he could practically see Sirius's thoughts on the likelihood of that happening: _as if._ Remus frowned at him and crossed his arms, and Sirius immediately sobered up.

“James and I didn't trust him,” Sirius said softly, his gaze focused on his boots, “I _still_ don't. It's hard to break out of that mindset.”

“But you _will_ , Sirius,” Remus said forcefully, his anger pushing him forward, “enough is enough. That was ten years ago. Let. It. Go.”

Remus turned, intent to walk off and let Sirius think about what he'd said. He was stopped short however when a warm hand slipped into his. Remus paused and turned, and Sirius was staring at him with a sad, wounded puppy expression that made it incredibly difficult to stay mad at him.

“I'm sorry Remus,” he said softly, “I never wanted to snap at you like that.” He inched forward, but Remus didn't move. “I just...I know you could do better than me. You're _amazing_ Remus. I don't want to lose you.”

It took Remus a great deal of effort to keep from rolling his eyes.

“So your method for staying with me is to bite my head off?” Remus asked, and Sirius bowed his head at his words.

“Look,” Remus said, his tone softening a little, “I don't know the whole story of what happened. There's two sides to every story, and it's too deep for any of you to be actual _friends._ But for Harry's sake, at least try, all right?”

Sirius closed the distance between them, and when Remus didn't protest, he swept him into a kiss. Remus almost wept; it felt so good to be this close to Sirius after their abysmal goodbye the night before. Severus's words residing at the back of his mind made it difficult to separate the Sirius he knew from the Sirius he had been, and Remus decided that only time would tell whether Sirius was taking his words to heart, or just trying to placate him.

“I'll try,” Sirius whispered, and Remus smiled before leaning in to kiss him again.

“That's all I ask,” Remus replied as he pulled back a little. Sirius's arm was wrapped around his waist, and his hand slid further down to rest casually over his corduroy-clad buttocks.

“I think I could manage a better apology than a few quick kisses in the street,” Sirius murmured, and Remus felt himself flush, cottoning on right away to what he was hinting at. Despite the flush, his mouth split into a grin.

“My place is closer,” Remus murmured, and Sirius grinned.

 

Remus backtracked to grab his bag and utter a quick, apologetic goodbye to Severus, who appeared annoyed, but unsurprised at the outcome of their little spat.

“Be sure to use protection,” Severus said with something close to a sneer in his voice, “wouldn't want you to get knocked up with Black's hellspawn, now would we?”

“Ha, ha, very funny. I guess I'll see you at the next curry night?” Remus asked, shouldering his bag.

“Most likely. Until then,” he said and nodded towards Remus once. He smiled at Severus, and took off through the café doors to join Sirius at his bike.

 

Not very much was said between the couple as Remus accepted a helmet from Sirius and they drove to his duplex. Remus's hands shook minutely as he unlocked the door, Sirius's hot breath on the back of his neck making it extremely difficult to keep them steady. Moony bypassed Remus completely and barked excitedly as he jumped at Sirius, who laughed at the dog's excitement.

Sirius was quick to turn his attention back to Remus, a slow, easy smile on his face. “Told you he liked me best,” he said, his voice a low purr in his voice that made Remus shiver.

“Shut up,” Remus replied, then drew the man into a rough kiss. Sirius's hands immediately fell to Remus's hips and pulled him closer, while Remus reached out an arm instinctively, pushing Moony down as he tried to jump up at the intertwined pair.

Pausing just long enough to make their way to the bedroom, Remus did not even glance back at the dog that trailed behind them as they went.

“Somehow, this doesn't surprise me,” Sirius said, an arm still at Remus's waist as they stepped inside. For a moment Remus was confused, then he realized that this was the first time Sirius had actually been _in_ his bedroom.

It was a very simple setup; a queen bed, a pine bookcase crammed full of novels, a desk complete with closed laptop, lamp, a stack of notebooks, and leather office chair. Above it hung a framed Robert Bateman print, and his bedroom set was completed by a neatly closed wardrobe, similarly styled to the other furniture in the room. As with everything else in his home the room was spotless, and the simplicity of the space—at least compared to the chaos of Sirius's own bedroom—must have been the source of his amusement.

“What, boring?” Remus asked, turning more fully to face the other man.

“No, adorable.”

Sirius drew him in for another kiss, and the pair slowly inched towards the bed. Remus felt his stomach momentarily twist with self-conscious worry; what if Sirius saw him and changed his mind? Sirius seemed to sense his anxiety and paused the heated kisses, leading Remus to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Whether you have one leg, or two, or eight, I still want you,” Sirius murmured softly, punctuating his words with a chaste kiss. “Whether your body is smooth and unblemished, or badly scarred, I'll still—” Sirius hesitated, his eyes flashed with momentary insecurity, “—love you.”

The two simple words held the weight of a sixteen ton anvil. His apprehension at speaking them was not unwarranted—they'd only been seeing each other for a short time, after all, but Remus couldn't deny this pull he had for the ridiculous man. This rushed, intense love that happened so fast, but still felt so right.

“And no matter how many stupid and unfounded conclusions you jump to,” Remus replied, pausing to brush his lips over Sirius's, “I—I feel the same.”

Remus did not miss the brief flash of disappointment in Sirius's eyes at Remus's words, but instead of commenting on it, he pulled Remus in for another kiss.

Sirius coaxed them further onto the bed with less-than-subtle movements, and Remus soon found himself pinned beneath Sirius, lost in the moment as they tasted each other more deeply than they had before. Remus let out a feeble moan as Sirius's right hand fell to his crotch and cradled his half hard cock. He shuddered under the man's gentle touch; it had been _too_ long since he'd been touched like this.

With a soft groan he arched his back, and Sirius squeezed him gently. Remus's breath hitched, and he tried to say Sirius's name, but it escaped him as a garbled jumble of letters, causing his partner to chuckle softly. He kissed Remus again, and Remus reached up to tangle his fingers in Sirius's hair and hold him there.

“Let me take care of you,” Sirius whispered, trailing the tip of his tongue from Remus's lips and across his stubbled jaw, “I think it's been a while since you let anyone care for you.”

Remus tried to answer verbally, but again it came out as a nonsensical mumble. Sirius seemed to take this for consent, as he thumbed open the button of Remus's trousers, pulled down the zip, and freed his aching cock.

Sirius kissed Remus one last time, then trailed down his front, and paused before his flagging cock. Remus shivered a little as he felt the other man's hot breath ghost across his flesh, and he let out a sharp whine as Sirius's incredibly talented mouth closed around the tip of his cock.

“Oh—God— _Sirius_ ,” Remus moaned, his hips twitching a little, but Sirius closed a hand around his hip to keep him from thrusting down his throat.

At an infuriatingly slow pace, Sirius slowly took Remus into his mouth, his tongue moulding to the shape of the organ, and Remus was reduced to a quivering pile of jelly.

Just as slowly, Sirius began to bob his head, opening his mouth a little wider to take Remus all the way into his mouth, and Remus let out another groan as he felt the tip of his cock brush the very back of the man's throat.

Within an embarrassingly short span of time Remus cried out and came, his seed sputtering against the back of Sirius's throat. He took it in stride and swallowed, then pulled back from Remus's softening cock, slid back up his front and kissed him gently. Remus could taste himself on Sirius's lips, which was both a strange and thrilling thing.

“You're amazing,” Remus panted, leaning in to kiss him again.

“I know,” Sirius replied when they'd broken apart, and Remus chuckled in response.

They kissed, and Remus reached for the hem of Sirius's shirt, just as Sirius did the same to him. A strange sensation stopped him short however; the feeling as though he was being watched. Sirius seemed to feel the same sensation, and they both turned at the same time to see Moony sitting there, his head cocked to the side as he watched them, a clear, ' _watcha doin'?'_ look on his face. Remus groaned at the same moment that Sirius barked a laugh.

Moony seemed to take this for consent, as with his tail wagging he leapt up to join the couple.

Remus sat up with a mildly annoyed frown and tucked himself away, while he watched Sirius roughly pet his ridiculous beast with mad enthusiasm.

“I can't recall ever being cockblocked by a _dog_ before,” Remus mused as he watched the pair, and Sirius grinned helplessly. Holding Moony's head gently in his hands, he slowly eased him around to face Remus.

“How can you say _no_ that that face?” Sirius asked, and Remus laughed as Moony's tail thumped audibly against the bedspread, then he padded over to Remus to offer him a wet doggie kiss.

“Not easily, let me tell you,” Remus smiled as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

“Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, but I kept forgetting—what are you doing next Saturday?” Sirius asked, but before Remus could answer, Sirius steamrolled forward. “Because there's this Battle of The Bands thing my band is doing. It's a huge opportunity, if we win we get to tour in America for a couple of weeks on the Vans Warped Tour. It's kind of a big deal. I was just wondering if you'd come and...cheer me on?” Sirius paused, his voice laced with uncertainty. Even after the spontaneous, mind-blowing oral sex, clearly Sirius could also feel the awkwardness between the pair, despite the efforts on both their parts to mend it the only way they knew how—with sex. “You wouldn't need to pay,” he added quickly, “I'd have you on the guest list and—”

Remus cut him off with a kiss, and Sirius seemed to melt at the contact, ignoring the dog in favour of pulling Remus closer.

“I'd love to,” Remus replied, a wave of relief washing over him as his words were met with a brilliant smile. 


	7. Wore Out The Soles of My Party Boots

Chapter 7 – Wore Out The Soles of My Party Boots

 

_Life is fast, but I don't wanna live past you, 'cuz you are my only roots._

_I was the king of the drug booze thing, now I've worn out the soles of my party boots._

_So call me shit-faced Master of Disgrace, I don't care 'cuz my outer skin_

_Is thick like crust, and a liver that's rusted out, now I'm on a list._

_Wore Out The Soles of My Party Boots – NOFX_

 

In the days leading up to the 'Battle', Remus found himself seeing less of Sirius than he would have liked, as his time was overwhelmed with preparation for their performance. Remus had never seen Sirius so stressed before, and he was even receiving less text-spam from him than usual, which bordered on distressing, especially after he'd grown so accustomed to his phone buzzing several times over the course of a single hour.

It was three days before their performance when Remus dropped by, unfortunately this was also the day that James broke to Sirius that he wouldn't be playing with them at the upcoming performance.

“ _What_?” Sirius sputtered with wide eyes, “why the hell not?”

“Sirius, I can't up and leave Lily here by herself with Harry for a month and a half. She's got summer courses and work, and you'll be gone too so there'll be no one to mind Harry,” James said, sounding much more mature and grown-up than Remus had ever heard him. “I'm sorry. I want to, but I can't this time.” James shrugged helplessly, and Remus sank back into the sofa, fairly certain Sirius had momentarily forgotten that he was even there.

“What the hell am I gonna do without a lead guitarist?” Sirius demanded, crossing his arms in frustration. James rolled his eyes this time, looking a little less sympathetic.

“I don't know, ask Rabastan?”

“He's a metalhead and a gigantic arse. I am _not_ asking him,” Sirius replied with a huff, and again, James rolled his eyes. Remus pressed his lips into a thin line to keep from laughing, but the petulant child routine was one he'd gotten used to with Sirius, though it never ceased to amuse him. He often wondered _how_ James had put up with it all through secondary school.

 

After a moment of tense silence, James's eyes lit up.

“Tonks,” he said.

“Tonks? As in my cousin, as in the only decent relative I have?” Sirius asked with an arched eyebrow.

“That's the one. She plays, she's into the same funky shit as us, there's only one hurdle...” James trailed off, and Sirius nodded solemnly.

“Andromeda,” the pair said in unison.

 

It was only later that Remus learned that Sirius's cousin—Nymphadora—was still in secondary school. Because of this, it seemed likely that it would take an inordinate amount of pleading to convince her mother, Andromeda, to let her only daughter perform in a punk band in a skeezy pub, and possibly disappear for six weeks to America.

Most surprisingly, this Andromeda woman didn't seem to have any problems with the prospect of sending her teenager across the pond. This came to light the next time Remus went to visit.

 

“Sirius!” Remus called as he let himself in. “Lily texted me and said that you were likely holed up in your room and forgot to eat again so I come bearing steaming boxes of—oh. Hello.”

Remus rounded the corner and came face to face with a very pretty sixteen-year-old girl with vibrant pink hair, a black T-shirt that read, _Bikini Kill_ , and artfully torn jeans. Remus smiled a little, finding himself mildly nervous, given that this was the first relative of Sirius's he had met. He felt his face warm slightly when she gave him an obvious once-over, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. _Do I give off Black Family Pheromones or something?_ He wondered, pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth to keep from laughing at himself.

“Erm, I'm Remus,” he said, holding out his hand to her, “you must be Tonks, Sirius mentioned you might take him up on his plea.”

“That's me,” she replied with a smile and took his hand. Her hands were a little rough and callused, a testament to her pastime of playing guitar, and her grip was much firmer than he had expected. “You said something about food?”

“Er—yes. Lily mentioned that Sirius might be too focused on preparing for his gig, and he might forget to eat, so I brought takeaway.” Remus held up the plastic bag that held the boxes. “Curry all right?”

“Someone say something about curry?” Sirius stepped into the kitchen, and his eyes lit up when he caught sight of Remus. “Curry and boyfriends, even better!” Remus didn't have a chance to say a word as Sirius swept in and captured his mouth in a kiss. Tonks's none-too-subtle clearing of her throat brought the pair back to reality, and Sirius smirked at his cousin, while Remus smiled sheepishly. Despite the overt and unnecessary display of affection, Tonks did not act how Remus expected—meaning, she did not immediately look crushed that Remus was spoken for, but instead brushed it off with a mental shrug and moved on almost at once. This did not stop her eyes from lingering on him however, but Remus did his best to ignore it; he didn't want to give her the wrong idea, or inadvertently lead her on.

“C'mon,” he said, relieving Remus of the bag and draping an arm over his shoulders, “everyone's in the sitting room, only place big enough for us all.”

Sirius steered Remus into the sitting room with Tonks trailing behind. Remus had met Sirius's band a handful of times before, and while they were never unkind to him, he never quite felt like he belonged, either. As with the first time he'd laid eyes on Sirius, it did not come as a shock to him that the group was extremely tight-knit, and wary of outsiders. It was only ever James or Sirius who thought to include him in conversation, the others more or less ignoring him.

“My perfect, wonderful, adorable boyfriend comes bearing curry!” Sirius announced as they rounded the corner, and there was a smattering of cheers from the three men that sat on the floor around the coffee table, the low table covered in a mess of different sheets papers, though from Remus's distance, he couldn't read what they said.

The three bandmates offered Remus a muttered greeting, and he nodded to each of them in turn. First, there was the rhythm guitarist Matt, with his dark hair shaved very close to his scalp, aviator sunglasses perched on top of his head, and his thick, muscular arms were covered in tattoos. Today he wore dark jeans and a black T-shirt that bore the words _Iron Maiden_.

To his right was the bassist Chris, with his spiky blond hair, a piercing through the bridge of his nose—right between his eyes, a smattering of tattoos, and a tiny white gem embedded in his left canine tooth. Today his Uniform consisted of ratty old jeans that had seen better days, and a T-shirt that read, _The Get-Up Kids Band Camp T.G.U.K Official Camper 1997_. Across from him was the last band member Shane, the drummer.

Of all Sirius's friends, Remus thought he liked Shane best. He wasn't quite as much of a music elitist as the others, and seemed to actually listen when Remus spoke, instead of simply brushing him off. He was Caribbean, bore a heavy Jamaican accent, and his long dreadlocks were pulled away from his angular face in a high ponytail. Patchy, dark stubble covered his jaw, and today's Uniform for him consisted of black jeans that looked almost new, and a black T-shirt of his own that bore the words, _Bad Brains_.

True to their band's name of Blaq Fag, all three of the men were gay, bisexual, or pansexual(or some variation thereof), and privately Sirius had informed him that Chris was also HIV Positive. This did not change Remus's view of the man, but he always exchanged a sad look with Sirius whenever the alarm on Chris's phone would go off, and he'd mutter something about taking his 'vitamins'. He had a feeling Chris would not take kindly to Remus knowing his secret, and thus never mentioned it.

“All right, Remus?” Shane asked as he took a seat next to him, and Sirius began handing out the takeaway boxes while the others pushed aside the papers that littered the table.

“Fine, thanks,” Remus replied with a faint smile as he accepted a box from Sirius. “What have you been working on?”

“We're trying to agree on what we're gonna play at the BOTB,” Chris replied thickly around a mouthful of rice, “I say we should stick to what we always do—just Black Flag songs, but these two,” he motioned to Sirius and Tonks, “want to do a _Medley_. Lame!”

“We're auditioning as a fucking cover band you twat,” Sirius responded at once, “it'd make more sense to cover more ground by showing Kevin Lyman's cronies that we can do more than just South Bay hardcore.”

“Like what, Bright Eyes? Rainer Maria? _Midtown?_ ” Chris snorted derisively, and Shane whipped a piece of saucy butter chicken at him, and it clung to his cheek with a satisfying _slap_.

“No you tit,” Tonks said while Chris plucked the piece of chicken from his cheek and popped it into his mouth while she continued. “Like...I dunno, Bouncing Souls, NOFX, Dead Kennedys, fucking Real McKenzies, _something._ Sirius has got the pipes to pull it off, if you'd get your head out of your arse long enough to hear the points we're making.”

“We'll definitely do some ' _Flag_ songs,” added Matt, “we can't _not_.”

“Like Gimme Gimme Gimme!” said Chris, close to a yell.

“ _NO!”_ Matt, Shane, Tonks, and Sirius all cried at once.

On it went. Remus watched the conversation like one might watch a five-way tennis match, not understanding at least two-thirds of what they said. Sirius, to his credit, did his best to include him, but he frequently got distracted by the others and he was pulled back into an intense debate about one thing or another, from which was better, Solo Danzig or Misfits-Era Danzig (whoever that was), or whether the Dropkick Murphys were better with or without Spicy McHaggis (whoever _they_ were). Eventually Remus found himself getting a little bored in spite of Sirius's efforts to include him, and he touched his arm to draw him out of another heated debate with Chris, which had devolved from musical integrity and down to who was hotter: Mike Ness or Henry Rollins(which, by this point, Remus didn't care who they were).

“I better get going,” Remus said, doing his best to not sound as bored as he felt, “I've gotta get some work in on my thesis before I can crash.”

Sirius's face fell a little, but he smiled nonetheless. “All right, let me walk you out.” He extended a hand, which Remus accepted and Sirius pulled him up, then they walked hand in hand to the door.

“Hope you weren't too bored tonight,” Sirius murmured as he pulled in Remus for a kiss. “We're just a little stressed. This is big for us.”

“I know,” Remus said with a faint smile, “I mean, I don't know a lot about it, so I just don't have much to add. It's about as exciting to me as my extensive collection of nineteenth-century American literature is to you.” He snorted when Sirius visibly shuddered.

“I don't even know _why_ you have seven different editions of Tom Sawyer,” Sirius muttered with a shake of his head, “it's the same story!”

“They're different editions though!” Remus protested with a laugh. It wasn't exactly the first time they'd had this discussion. Sirius merely shook his head and leaned in to kiss him again.

“Get out of here you nerd, I'll see you later.”

  

~*~

 

Despite his insistence that he needed to work on his thesis, when Remus got home he found himself distracted by everything. His research material was spread out all over his desk, half a dozen sticky notes were affixed to the edges of his laptop screen, but despite his interest in the subject(Sappho to Kerouac, a study in LGBT Literary Icons), he just couldn't focus.

Giving up on getting any work done, he stood and pulled his jacket back on, and grabbed Moony's leash off its hook. The dog was there in an instant, whining impatiently as Remus hooked him up and grabbed a few bags from the hall closet.

“C'mon Moony,” he said, and led the dog down the steps and around the corner.

Remus allowed his mind to drift as he walked, occasionally craning his neck to look at the clear sky dotted with stars. He paused his walk to let Moony lift his leg, and let out a squawk of surprise and fear when a gloved hand clapped over his mouth, and a lit cigarette came into view less than an inch from the side of his face.

“ _Gimme yer wallet, or I'll kill ya,_ ” the voice hissed, high and false, and Remus struggled to stay calm, but Moony appeared ignorant to his owner's dilemma, distracted by some sort of smell in the grass next to the Keep Left sign.

“Okay, okay,” Remus said in a rush, his voice muffled by the gloved hand, “just, please, don't hurt me.” The man loosened his grip and Remus turned, and his eyes widened. “Sirius, you git!”

Sirius howled with laughter, while Remus gave him a sharp shove, stuck somewhere between anger and amusement at him as Sirius staggered back a half-step from the shove, still red-faced from laughing.

“You scared the shit out of me!” Remus said, though his admonishment had less impact that he would have liked, now that Moony noticed who had joined them and was enthusiastically jumping up on him.

“I saw you walking, couldn't help myself,” Sirius finally said when he calmed down, pushing the dog off him and taking a step forward to close the distance between them. “I felt kind of bad about dinner, so I came out to make up for it,” he said as he arched his brow suggestively, and Remus grinned a little at the implication.

“And making up for it involves giving me a heart attack?”

“Well, that was just for fun,” Sirius said with a grin, and linked his arms at the small of Remus's back. “Walk me home? Well, your home—oh, you know what I mean.”

Remus drew Sirius in for a kiss, and reached out instinctively to push down the interrupting dog, his other arm coiled around Sirius's neck.

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't walk the lady home?” Remus asked, and Sirius snickered.

“Shut up.”

Hand in hand, the pair headed back towards Remus's duplex, not speaking, but enjoying the night sounds and feel of the other at their side. Inside the house, Remus quickly unhooked Moony, and he wandered off, a scant three seconds before Sirius pulled him close and kissed him. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck and held him close, a move that was met with a soft groan from the man.

“After you left I could hardly concentrate,” Sirius murmured, reaching further down to give Remus's arse a squeeze, “all I could think about was you.”

“You really _are_ a cornball romantic, aren't you?” Remus replied in the same soft tone, and Sirius chuckled a little, though he didn't deny it.

“I brought a present for Moony that should keep him distracted tonight,” Sirius said, his brow cocked suggestively. He opened his jacket, and inside was a rubber Kong toy in a plastic bag, which Remus could see had been filled to the brim with peanut butter.

“I hope you don't plan on getting the toy back,” Remus said with a soft chuckle, “Moony will rip that thing to shreds.”

“If it keeps him occupied for about an hour then I have no complaints,” Sirius replied with a grin, and Remus barked a laugh.

“ _Only_ an hour? What are you, seventeen?” Remus grinned when Sirius snorted to his question, and instead of answering he pulled Remus in for another kiss.

Remus called the dog over, and Sirius extracted the peanut butter-laced toy from its bag. Moony grabbed it from Sirius's hands and trotted to the sitting room, where he promptly plopped down and went to town on the thing. Remus closed a hand around the front of Sirius's T-shirt and dragged him in for a kiss, while the man shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it blindly at the coat hanger, just barely catching it. Remus was relieved of this, as he didn't fancy having to stop what they were doing to pull the garment out of Moony's reach.

The couple clumsily made their way to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them, and Remus guided Sirius to his bed. He perched upon the edge, and Remus climbed clumsily into his lap. He wobbled a little and Sirius was quick to wrap his arms around Remus's waist to hold him steady. Remus's hands moved to stroke Sirius's hair, and marvelled at the way the soft locks threaded through his fingers.

“Remus,” Sirius breathed against his mouth, and they parted as Remus reached down to peel off Sirius's white T-shirt and tossed it blindly over his shoulder.

Sirius was fit, not that Remus expected him not to be, especially after all the close contact moments they'd shared over the last two months. His chest was sculpted, but not in an exaggerated way, and at last Remus saw the entire design upon Sirius's shoulder, of a stag and dog intertwined with a doe and fawn.

The black and grey design was beautiful, and Remus reached up to brush his fingers over it, and was surprised to find that the tattooed skin was slightly softer than the unblemished flesh just below it. There was another tattoo he hadn't seen before, a claddagh across his chest. Upon closer inspection, Remus saw that the design was meant to conceal a number of small circular scars. Remus's breath caught when he realized that they were cigarette burns.

Sirius closed a hand over Remus's, drawing his attention from the design and to Sirius's face.

“Friendship, loyalty, and love to remind me what a real family is, not what my mother made it out to be,” Sirius murmured by way of explanation. He pulled Remus in for a kiss, and he used one hand to hold Remus in place, the other moved to the top button of his cardigan, flicking it open. Remus tensed momentarily, his mind flitting back (not for the first time) to Gilderoy's reactions to the state of his body. Sirius seemed to sense his apprehension, and broke the kiss, staring intensely into his eyes as he continued to flick open the buttons.

“You are perfect to me as you are Remus, nothing could make me love you any less,” Sirius said, then kissed him again as his hands moved back up to Remus's shoulders and pushed the garment off.

Underneath, Remus happened to be wearing one of the few graphic T-shirts he owned, black, with a design of partially filled beakers, overlaid with a white banner that read, _I'm very into science_. When Sirius's eyes fell to it, he snorted softly.

“Are you now?”

“Yeah, well...” Remus trailed off as he chuckled, and lifted his arms as Sirius grabbed hold of the hem of the shirt and pulled it off.

Sirius sucked in a breath as he tossed aside the shirt and took in the sight of Remus's upper body. The crisscross of scars and tears in his flesh littered his skin, leaving almost no area of it unblemished.

“Blimey...” Sirius whispered, a hand falling to brush across one of the more prominent scars across his left pec, “I mean, you told me about it, but I had no idea...” He trailed off, and kissed Remus again, his hold on him tightening slightly.

Remus was slightly alarmed by the reaction, in particular the intensity behind the kiss.

“I won't let you take on any more scars,” Sirius said with vehement determination, “mental or physical. I'll protect you.” Remus smiled to the sentiment, one of his hands falling to brush across the concealed scars upon Sirius's chest before he spoke.

“How about instead of you protecting me, we vow to protect each other?” Remus asked with a smile, and Sirius grinned sheepishly. He leant in and captured Remus's mouth in a soft kiss.

“I like that idea.”

Sirius's grin widened, and he shifted back on the bed with Remus still perched in his lap. Remus kissed him one last time, then trailed the tip of his tongue along the edge of his jaw, down the side of his neck, and to his chest. Sirius trembled under him, in particular when he caught the man's nipple in his teeth and tugged gently on it. He groaned, arching his back a little in a silent bid for Remus to continue.

Remus pressed the heel of his hand against the bulge in Sirius's jeans, and he let out a soft growl.

“Remus, I swear, if you tease me...”

“You'll what?” Remus asked with a soft laugh, and Sirius went quiet, occasionally palming Sirius's erection while he waited for an answer.

“I'll...I'll...not speak to you for a week.”

Remus snorted, and popped open the top button of the garment.

“Somehow, I doubt you'd be able to hold out for more than an hour, if that,” Remus said, taking his time unzipping the zip, then curled his fingers around the waistband of both his jeans and pants, and slowly began to pull them down. Sirius didn't even bother to offer up any sort of defence to Remus's comment; it wasn't like he was wrong.

Like the rest of him, Sirius's cock was beautiful. Remus had never been one to claim that all genitalia was ugly, and Sirius's practically made his mouth water at the sight of it. It curled slightly instead of jutting straight out, and his balls were nestled in a sea of immaculately groomed pubic hair. Remus moved to taste him, but Sirius's hand on his shoulder stopped him short.

“I want to see you,” Sirius said softly, his eyes wide with a look of absolute adoration.

“O-Okay,” Remus said, and reluctantly pulled himself off Sirius, and Sirius sat up, bracing his weight on his elbow to watch. Remus took a moment to marvel at the casual elegance of him laying there, then opened his trousers and dropped out of them without looking up at Sirius, his pants closely following.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and Sirius's gaze automatically fell to his prosthetic. His hand rested on his thigh just above it, and he curled himself around Remus like some sort of living pillow.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, and Remus shrugged a little.

“Not really, no,” he said, “if I'm standing around for a really long time it gets a little sore, but nothing crazy.”

Sirius leant up and kissed Remus gently. Remus turned to return it, his hands falling to Sirius's hips as he coaxed Remus back into his lap. Remus paused long enough to remove his leg and peel off the liner, then moved to perch himself in Sirius's lap. Remus looked at his boyfriend a little nervously, but Sirius hardly passed his stump a second glance, seemingly far more interested in capturing Remus's mouth with his own.

Sirius's tongue extended to meet Remus's, and they tangled together clumsily, Remus's arms draping over his shoulders, while Sirius rested his hands on Remus's hips.

“Lube?” Sirius asked softly, and Remus smiled, nodding to his night table.

“Condoms are in there too,” he replied, and Sirius stretched out to open it, and withdrew both items. He started with the lubricant, and pulled Remus in for a gentle kiss while he popped the cap of the little tube, squeezed a small measure out, and snuck the hand around to his hole.

“Go slow,” Remus said nervously, “it's been a while.” Sirius smiled warmly at him, and without a word his slick fingertip pressed lightly against him, and slid slowly past the tight ring of muscle.

Remus's breath hitched as he groaned appreciatively. Sirius's head dropped to press a light kiss to the side of Remus's throat, while he slid the digit all the way in to the knuckle. At the same time, Sirius pressed the condom into his hand.

“Put it on me,” Sirius whispered hoarsely, and Remus grinned a little as he bit down on the edge of the wrapper and tore it open, then pulled it out and took great joy in sliding it over Sirius's cock.

Sirius withdrew his finger, and Remus used Sirius's shoulders for leverage, as well as with Sirius's help, his hands resting on Remus's hips, he slid onto Sirius's cock. The action was met with dual groans of pleasure at the sensation.

 _Finally,_ Remus thought.

A little awkwardly at first, Remus lifted off Sirius's cock and slid back down, grunting his pleasure as he felt it brush his prostate.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he hissed, tilting his head back, while Sirius guided his movements, helping him to essentially fuck himself on Sirius's cock.

Beneath him, Sirius followed his movements, arching his hips in time with his thrusts, and as his breaths grew more sporadic and rough, Remus curled a hand around his own erection and began to stroke himself. Sirius was quick to swat his hand away and stroke Remus himself, and they both came, Remus first and Sirius a moment later. Panting shakily, Sirius coaxed Remus onto his side and pulled his softening cock out of him. He began to pull off the used condom, and Remus cut in before he could bin it.

“The bin on top of the toilet in the loo,” he said, “otherwise I'll have a particularly gross mess to clean up tomorrow morning.”

“All right, will do,” Sirius said with a chuckle, and stood to saunter out of the room. Before he'd even gotten to the door, a high whine sounded from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of Moony scratching on the door. Sirius barked a laugh and opened the door, and the dog trotted in, paused to sniff at Sirius, then trotted over to Remus. Sirius turned back with a chuckle to watch the dog, then walked out into the hall. Remus watched him go, his gaze fixed upon Sirius's pert arse. He was distracted from the lovely sight by Moony clambering onto the bed, and stretching out in the spot Sirius had occupied not a full minute before.

When Sirius returned a moment later with a damp towel, he threw his head back and laughed at the sight.

“It looks like I've been replaced,” he observed, while he handed over the towel he'd brought. Remus mopped up his mess, which was more or less just dotted across his stomach.

“Yeah, Moony wishes,” Remus replied with a small smile, then urged the dog to the end of the bed.

Sirius settled back down next to him, and Remus stretched out, exhausted, satisfied, and entirely at peace. With the dog laying across their feet like some sort of moving foot warmer, Remus shifted closer to Sirius and kissed him.

“I love you,” Remus said.

Sirius's pleasantly tired out expression split into a wide smile, and he shifted closer to Remus to kiss him again.

“I love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn't have access to Internet when I wrote this, so age-wise Tonks might be a little off. I was ballparking, because I couldn't remember the exact age gap between her and the Marauders >.< I did tinker with the idea of using more of the original OotP members for Sirius's band, but alas there were few that I could really picture in these roles, so you guys get OCs. Also, the updates aren't coming as frequently because I'm working on 3 things at once, including my NaNoWriMo Fanfic project. So apologies for that.
> 
>  
> 
> For the smut scene, a lot of the information I researched I found was spotty at best, and my asking around yielded far fewer results than I'd hoped. A lot of Remus's 'stuff' during that scene was guesswork, and if anyone finds it inaccurate or anything, please point it out to me so I can fix it.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, yes, I know Sirius isn't Irish, but I love claddagh tattoos so, there.


	8. Punk Rock and Roll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And we're back! I'm so sorry for the impromptu hiatus, but this was one of the few times I started to post before I'd finished the first draft, and then I got hit in the face with writer's block. Under normal circumstances, I would have waited and finished off the last few chapters before I returned to posting, but I figure you guys have waited long enough for this. I am SO sorry. I really don't know when the next chapter will be out, but I'll get it out as soon as I can. (I'm hoping for no more than two weeks, but seriously don't hold me to that)

Chapter 8 – Punk Rock and Roll

 

_We all need a little punk rock and roll,_

_The kind that makes you wanna break some bones._

_It doesn't really matter what the singer says,_

_As long as punk rock is beating in those heads._

_I want that good feeling, push and shove._

_I want that good feeling, burning in my blood._

_I want that good feeling of the open road,_

_I want that good feeling where we lose control._

_Punk Rock and Roll – Street Dogs_

 

Remus could not recall ever seeing Sirius nervous.

He was bouncing from foot to foot, his eyes were wide, and if Remus wasn't mistaken, he could see a sheen of nervous sweat on his brow. Around them the other band members were warming up, and Lily, James and Harry had joined Remus to cheer Sirius on. They'd found a kids-sized punk rock T-shirt for Harry, black, depicting a white skull and the words _The Misfits_ across it. Harry also had bright orange ear plugs in, and he looked like he might wet himself with excitement.

“You're gonna win, right Uncle Sirius? Daddy said if you win you're going to the Stakes.”

“States, Harry,” Sirius corrected with a small laugh as he scooped his godson up. “But not forever, just a little while and then I'll come back.”

“How come you're going?” Harry asked, cocking his head to the side. He moved a little hand to pick at one of the ear plugs, but Sirius was quick to pull his hand away.

“So people in America and Canada can hear my band play, too,” Sirius said, and Remus chuckled as he watched the pair, especially Harry trying to work out why his godfather might be taking off.

“Will you bring me back a present?” He asked at last, and appeared confused when all the adults around him laughed.

“You can bet on it, young man,” Sirius replied, and Harry smiled widely.

“Then I hope you win so that you can go away!” Harry said enthusiastically, throwing his little arms in the air, and only Lily managed to keep from laughing, while both James and Remus snorted.

Sirius set Harry down and he walked back over to his mother and father, taking their hands, while Sirius wandered over to Remus, hooked his fingers in the beltloops of Remus's trousers and tugged him closer.

“Gonna wish me luck?” He asked softly, and Remus chuckled as he leant in for a kiss (“Eww!” said Harry), one which Sirius was happy to return.

“You don't need it,” Remus murmured, “you're brilliant, and you'll do great.”

At that same moment, they were signalled by one of the technicians, and the lights in the little theatre went out.

It felt strangely like déjà vu, though with certain significant differences as Sirius kissed him one last time, then stepped out onto the stage with the others amidst a storm of cheers.

“Hi guys,” Sirius said into the microphone, his words were met with another cheer, “we're Blaq Fag, and were here to make sure you have a good fucking time.”

They struck up a steady thrum of a beat, and Sirius began to speak, instead of the singing Remus expected.

 

“First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out.

Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out.

Next they came for the trade-unionists, and I did not speak out.

 _And then they came for me!_ ”

 

Sirius snarled the last line, and then they began to play. It was more melodic than Remus had expected, and he could more clearly discern the lyrics, though he wasn't certain if that was because he was getting used to this kind of music, or if it was a slower tempo than the last time he'd seen Sirius play.

Remus smiled as he watched him; he watched as Sirius threw everything he had into the performance. From Remus's vantage point, he had a clear view of the pit, which looked more like a human version of a meat grinder than anything else to him. He was distracted from watching it by something suddenly bumping into his leg, and looked down to see little Harry mimicking the crowd, jumping up and down excitedly and giggling to himself while he ran at his father next, and bounced off his knee.

The song ended and the crowd cheered, and Sirius prompted the crowd to intone with him, and Remus watched with amazement as they readily followed his lead. It was a new experience to watch a whole crowd go, “ _aaaaaaaaaaa_ ,” along with his boyfriend. Sirius quickly went into the next song, and Remus had to assume it was a popular one, if the crowd's enthused cheers were anything to go by.

 

“ _Echoes of reggae,_

_Coming through my bedroom wall._

_Having a party up next door but_

_I'm sitting here all alone._

_Two lovers in the bedroom_

_And the other starts to shout_

_All I got is this blank stare_

_That don't carry no clout at all._

 

_Destination unknown,_

_Ruby, Ruby, Ruby Ruby Soho..._ ”

 

The song ended and they immediately jumped into the next one. Twice more, Sirius prompted the crowd to intone with him. On the fourth time, Tonks seemed to lose her patience with it.

“Sirius, you can't to that to these people _every_ time we start a song!” She said, and the crowd laughed.

“Why not?” Sirius demanded indignantly.

“This is not a doctor's office!”

“Whatever, _Some—_ ” Sirius began to sing, but Tonks cut across him, something unintelligible, and Sirius glared at her. “Could you just shut up Tonks? I was just in character, and you ruined it! Now I have to get back into character!”

Sirius began again, intoning with the crowd following him, and Tonks snickered.

“Isn't it nice you have them at your disposal?” she asked.

“Now cough!” added Matt. The crowd laughed at the wildly grinning guitarist.

“Why do half of them have green tongues?” Tonks asked, getting another laugh and cheer, and a few people near the back raised up some sort of dyed green liquor that had apparently been making the rounds. Tonks shrugged, and with one more laugh they finally got on with the show.

“Here's a song you might know, and if you know the lyrics, please feel free to sing along!” Sirius said, and at last they struck up the next song, to a mess of excited cheers. It was heavier than the previous song they'd played, and Remus saw the meat grinder mosh pit start up almost at once.

 

“ _Someday, you gotta find another way,_

_You better right your mind and live by what you say_

_Today is just another day_

_Unless you set your sights and try to find a way..._ ”

 

Remus's attention was drawn from Sirius as the chorus started up and to the sound of Lily and James positively dying of laughter. He turned to see little Harry jumping up and down on the spot, hands clenched into fists and held against his chest while he cried out, “ _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”_ Lily was entirely incapable of reprimanding the little boy, her red face buried in her hands as she laughed at Harry picking up on the repeated curse word in the chorus that Sirius was currently singing.

Eventually she calmed down, and she crouched down to murmur something to Harry. Over the music Remus couldn't make it out, but he had to assume that she was reminding him that he wasn't to go repeating that around his grandparents. He nodded, and when his mother stood back up he resumed his jumping and screaming.

 

The concert continued, and Remus leant against the wall comfortably, his arms crossed across his chest as he watched Sirius play. Nearby, Lily and James were taking turned 'moshing' with Harry, though it mostly consisted of him bouncing into their legs and catching him when it looked like he might fall.

After about thirty minutes, Sirius announced their last song. There was a collective groan from the crowd, and Sirius laughed.

“Please be sure to stick around for the other bands playing tonight,” he continued, his voice a little hoarse from his singing, “ they're all fan-fucking-tastic!” There was another cheer, and they began to play. The crowd went positively mental, and Remus smiled as he recognized the familiar, snarling tone of the song.

 

“ _Right here, all by myself,_

_I ain't got no one else._

_The situation is bleeding me,_

_There's no relief for a person like me._

 

_Depression's got a hold of me,_

_Depression, I gotta break free,_

_Depression's got a hold of me,_

_Depression's gonna kill me..._ ”

 

Finishing with a Black Flag song seemed to be the way to go, if the crowd's reaction was any indication. Remus smiled to himself, pleased that he could recognize the group, if not the song itself. Sirius had very enthusiastically embraced everything in his life (his dog, more than anything else) and Remus had done his best to reciprocate that. It would seem he had, and that realization made him smile.

The song ended, the lights came back up, and the slow babble of talk flooded the venue. Sirius, Tonks, and the others broke down their equipment and packed it up, to make way for the second group of the evening. The moment Sirius made his way backstage he had to set the equipment in his hands down, as Harry took a running leap at him.

“That was so _cool,_ Uncle Sirius!” Harry said excitedly as Sirius caught him, “I liked the part where you said bad words that Mummy doesn't like!”

Sirius snorted and hoisted the little boy higher in his arms. Harry balanced in his right arm and braced against his hip, he reached down with the other to pick back up the equipment he'd been carrying. He wandered off, Harry babbling animatedly while the others passed by and followed Sirius out to the van. Tonks hung back to help the next band set up, then sidled up to Remus with a warm smile.

“How'd we do?” she asked conversationally. While Remus took a step back from her as casually as he could manage without hurting her feelings. She didn't seem to notice.

“It was great,” Remus answered, smiling faintly, “I mean, it's still not exactly my thing, you know, but I was riveted.”

“You are the king of understatement, you know that, right?” Sirius asked as he appeared suddenly, still holding Harry up with one arm while the other hooked around Remus's shoulders. Remus grinned and leant into the embrace, in part because he loved the closeness he had with Sirius, and in part to make a point to Tonks. Even if their age difference hadn't been present, he didn't want to accidentally lead her on, or give her some false hope while he was involved with Sirius.

“It's a gift,” Remus replied with a chuckle, just as the lights dimmed and the next group took the stage to a chorus of cheers. Sirius wrinkled his nose and tightened his hold on Remus.

“C'mon,” he said, a note of disgust in his voice, “we don't need to hear this _We-Think-We're-Metal-But-We're-Actually-Emo_ crap...” Sirius steered Remus out the doors after he set Harry down, and he ran straight to his dad, who hoisted him up with a grin.

“Pretentious much?” Remus asked with a short laugh when they'd made it outside. Sirius snorted and shrugged his shoulders, though he offered up no word in his defence.

“I can't help it, it's not my fault that they suck, I'm just pointing it out,” he replied with another grin, and the shamelessness in his tone made Remus laugh.

“You're terrible.”

“You love me.”

“And _so_ modest,” Remus continued with another laugh, and Sirius answered by linking his arms around Remus's middle and he drew him in for a kiss. Remus threw his arms over Sirius's shoulders and responded enthusiastically, though no nearly long enough as far as Remus was concerned. Less than a minute later, Remus distantly heard the side doors open and Harry's rather vocal reaction to their interlocked bodies rent the air.

“Ewwwww! _Kissing!_ ”

Remus pulled back with a soft groan of frustration, and they both turned to look at Harry, who was happily perched on James's shoulders and grinning proudly at the two mildly annoyed adults.

“You were saying, Harry?” Remus asked with an arched brow, but the boy's grin didn't waver.

“How come you kiss _all the time_?” Harry asked, wrinkling his nose a little at them, “I thought it was just what married people do. Does all the kissing mean you're gonna get married and have a baby?”

Sirius barked a laugh, and turned a bit to press a hand to Remus's flat stomach, while he continued to grin at his godson.

“You know Harry, we try, and we try, but— _oof!”_ Sirius was cut off when Remus elbowed him hard in the gut to shut him up, while Lily and James snorted, and Harry looked utterly bewildered at what was so funny.

“It's a bit soon to talk about getting married,” Remus continued before Sirius could cut in again. “We kiss because we like it, one day you might want to kiss someone too.”

“No _way_ ,” Harry replied with absolute disgust, “I'm gonna be like Uncle Sev—I'm not gonna kiss anybody!”

“An Ace child—” Lily said fondly, “thank _God_. Now I don't need to worry about you knocking up some poor girl like your father.”

Remus snorted, but James and Sirius appeared to be caught between offence and amusement at her words, and Harry once again looked completely confused by the adult commentary around him.

  

~*~

  

The evening progressed amicably, with Remus and Sirius more or less joined at the hip, moreso after Lily and James had to take little Harry hope to put him to bed. As the second-to-last group took the stage, Sirius slipped off to the band's merchandise table with an apologetic smile towards Remus.

Remus understood that Sirius needed to do his budding rockstar thing, and wandered back into the venue on his own, grabbed a beer, and sat down at one of the free tables. He had expected to spend the next hour or so on his own, but the seat across from him was filled much more quickly than he expected, and when he turned to see who it was, he got a pleasant surprise.

“Alice!” Remus cried, “what're you doing here?”

“What does it look like?” She asked with a laugh, “I'm here for the show, and because a certain _someone_ still hasn't properly introduced me to his boyfriend. Posting pictures on Facebook and tagging me in the comments doesn't count, by the way.”

Remus smiled sheepishly at the not-so-subtle hint, and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Sorry, things have just been...” he trailed off, and offered her another weak smile. Remus didn't have a good excuse—he'd gotten so wrapped up in seeing Sirius that he'd stopped spending time with his friends in favour of spending his time with his boyfriend. Alice seemed to understand however, and offered him an amused smile.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied with a soft laugh, “things are always a bit crazy when you get a new boyfriend, I remember that I was kind of the same when I started seeing Frank.”

“Just a bit,” Remus replied with a snort, and she mirrored his sheepish grin from earlier. Remus could still remember not seeing Alice for close to four months when the couple had first started going out.

“So, this is beginning to be a regular thing for you,” she commented as she switched topics and settled in on the chair, “going to rock shows, I mean.”

“Well when your boyfriend is in a rock band, it's sort of inevitable,” he replied with a helpless shrug. “Where's Frank, by the way? Another business thing?”

“The most important of business transactions,” she said solemnly, “getting drinks.”

Remus blinked, but before he could ask, Frank took up one of the other available chairs at their small table, and slid a beer across to his girlfriend.

“Hey mate,” he said with a grin, “long time, no see.”

“Yeah, really,” Remus replied with a short laugh, “I—” his words were cut off however when the lights dimmed and a resounding cheer filled the venue.

“Watch our drinks?” Alice asked with an arched brow, and Remus nodded as the couple jumped up and darted off.

Remus turned his attention to the stage, where a number of instruments were set up—an electric guitar, drum kit, ukulele, and an electric piano. A very pretty, curvy young woman in a corset, thigh-high stockings, garters, and black ballet slippers sauntered out onto the stage amidst excited cheers from the crowd. Her dark hair was piled on top of her hair in a messy bun, and she sat at the piano without a word of greeting to the crowd, and began to play.

Her fingers danced over the keys, a tinkling, almost toy-piano melody, then suddenly with a playful smirk it dropped suddenly to a lower octave, and she began to sing.

 

“ _Coin-operated boy,_

_Sitting on a shelf, he is just a toy,_

_But I turn him on, and he comes to life,_

_Automatic joy, that is why I want a..._

_Coin-operated boy..._ ”

 

Of all the things Remus had expected to see at such an event, this woman hadn't been one of them.

She played on, and Remus found himself completely enraptured by her performance. So much so in fact that he did not notice Sirius approach him, and jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around Remus's shoulders from behind.

“Did I scare you?” He asked as Remus craned his neck a little to look at him, and he grinned a little.

“A bit, didn't see you,” Remus answered as his eyes strayed back to the young woman on stage. He felt the low vibration of Sirius's chuckle, and his arms dropped to hook around Remus's waist.

“Her name's Hestia Jones,” Sirius explained as the song ended and she struck up another, while a young man came out onto the stage a joined her behind the drum kit. “She does _The Dresden Dolls_ and Amanda Palmer covers. She's probably my band's biggest competition tonight.”

“Nervous?” Remus teased, and shivered when he felt Sirius plant a gentle kiss against the side of his throat.

“Maybe a little.”

Sirius fell silent and stood behind Remus, holding him in a casual embrace while Remus leant into the embrace listened to the young woman play. He was completely enthralled by her performance—her range, the subject matter of the songs she sang, and her skill. It was nothing like the music he normally listened to; it was something new—something wonderful.

After half an hour, Hestia stood up from the piano's bench, and picked up the ukulele while she approached the centre mike.

“This is my last song for tonight,” she said, her voice low and raspy and nothing like her singing voice, which surprised Remus. “I hope you guys enjoy it, and thanks for listening.”

A cheer followed her words, and she plucked at the instrument a few times, twisting the tuning knobs here and there. When she'd finished, she lifted her gaze to the crowd, and began to play to a fast, upbeat tempo.

 

“ _Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar, and couldn't sing,_

_And everybody hated him, except the ones who loved him._

_A ukulele had four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele,_

_He did smack, and prob'ly killed his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen._

_If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he would have been happy, maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end._

_He maybe would have not done all that heroin, instead he maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend._

 

_So play your favourite cover song,_

_Especially if the words are wrong._

_'Cuz even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing._

_Do your homework with a fork and eat your Froot Loops in the dark and bring your Etch-A-Sketch to work and play your ukulele._

 

_Ukulele, small and fierceful,_

_Ukulele, brave and peaceful,_

_You can play the ukulele too, it is painfully simple,_

_Play your ukulele badly,_

_Play your ukulele loudly,_

_Ukulele, banish evil,_

_Ukulele, save the people,_

_Ukulele, gleaming gold and from the top of every steeple...”_

 

Remus listened, smiling faintly as he did so. He understood the Punk philosophy, moreso after he began seeing Sirius, but never before was it laid out before him so plainly. This song, which could pass for a Pop song on the radio, encompassed the ideology in a format that anyone could listen to and understand. It was _phenomenal_.

The lights came back up, and Sirius stole a kiss before he slid into one of the available chairs and snagged Remus's beer.

“They'll probably announce the winners in about twenty minutes,” Sirius said conversationally, and took a sip of the drink, after which Remus took it back with an amused glare.

“Nervous?” Remus asked, and Sirius snorted.

“Nervous? _Me_? Oh hell yes,” he replied, and Remus laughed. He opened his mouth to reply, but a chorus of voices suddenly cut him off.

“What's this?” Frank cried as he returned to the table with Alice. Both of them were sweaty and their hair was distinctly mussed, but like that first show Alice had dragged them to, they both looked like they had had the time of their lives. “The infamous _boyfriend_? You mean we actually get to meet him? Remus, I'm touched!”

“And here we thought Remus was hiding you from us,” Alice added sweetly. Remus snorted.

“I wanted this one to _live_ , thank you,” he replied, and Sirius grinned.

“I'm afraid I've monopolized a lot of fair Remus's time. I'm a high-maintenance guy, it's not his fault.”

“High-maintenance being code for you being the biggest attention whore I have ever met,” Remus quipped, and Sirius clapped a hand over his heart as though Remus had mortally wounded him.

“You have been spending _far_ too much time around James and Lily,” Sirius said with a shake of his head. “Lucky me, now _all_ of you will gang up on me. I'll just have to spend time with...?” He turned to Frank and Alice with an arched brow, while the couple stared at them with a mixture of confusion and amused looks on their faces.

“Frank,” Frank said.

“Alice,” Alice added.

“Right,” Sirius continued, “I'll just have to spend time with dear Frank and Alice to save myself from your cutting words.”

Remus chuckled a little and turned to look at his two friends.

“Well you _said_ you wanted to meet him...” Remus said, and they both laughed and shook their heads.

“We did,” Alice replied with a nod of her head, “it's good to meet you, Sirius.”

Sirius grinned.

“And you.”

 

Over the next quarter of an hour, Alice happily grilled Sirius with every personal question she could think of, while Remus and Frank sat back and watched. Remus was quite used to her behaviour, and entirely expected Sirius to be subject to a variant of the Spanish Inquisition, and was therefore not surprised or embarrassed when she went to it. Gilderoy had suffered a similar treatment, though Remus saw that Sirius was handling it much better than his ex had.

Sirius answered her questions truthfully, and when she got close to a subject that he found too personal, he would answer with a sarcastic, good-natured remark. Alice was quick on the uptake, and did not question Sirius on that topic again.

Remus thought it was great fun to watch his boyfriend get along so well with his two best friends, and when the lights above flicked on and off to get the crowd's attention, he was somewhat saddened at the abrupt end to the conversation.

Sirius stood up, exuding his easy confidence, but Remus now knew him well enough to see how nervous he actually was. Without getting up, Remus reached for him, threaded his fingers through the front of Sirius's T-shirt, and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Good luck,” Remus whispered against his mouth, and he felt Sirius smile and kiss him once more, then headed over to the edge of the stage. Remus could see a number of the musicians from earlier standing there, including Sirius's bandmates, all waiting for the announcement of the winners.

A middle-aged man strode onto the middle of the stage with a crinkled piece of paper in his hand amidst a smattering of polite applause.

“Hey guys, did you have a good time tonight?” he paused when the crowd cheered. “I'm Edwin Baker, I'm one of the producers for the Vans Warped Tour,” he paused again as the crowd cheered. “We've put together our notes on the bands that played tonight, and we have selected our two runner-ups and our Grand Prize winner!” Another cheer followed his words, and Remus's eyes dropped to Sirius, who was clutching onto his bandmates tightly. They all looked halfway between excited and petrified.

“The second runner-up,” Baker continued, “winning a one-thousand pound gift certificate for Steve's Music Store is... _Roadside Theory_!”

The crowd cheered, and a group of thee men and two women clambered onto the stage, waving their arms and bouncing on the balls of their feet. They each shook Baker's hand, then offered the crowd one last wave before they stepped back and waited for the first runner-up to be called.

“First runner-up,” Baker called over the crowd, which was getting a little rowdier, “winning a prize pack worth over five thousand pounds, including Reading and Leeds backstage passes, a two-year subscription to _Alternative Press_ magazine, a brand-new kit courtesy of Mapex Drums and so much more...”

Remus held his breath.

“...Hestia Jones!”

The cheers were louder this time, and Hestia sauntered onto the stage with her drummer in tow, and they each shook the man's hand before they, too, stepped back.

“And now,” Baker turned back to the crowd, his tone of voice sounding almost as excitable as the screaming crowd in front of him, “winning the ultimate Grand Prize, which includes a three-song EP recording with John Feldman, twenty-five _thousand_ pounds in gear from Ernie Ball and Guitar Centre, a feature in Alternative Press, tour dates with the Vans Warped Tour and _so much more_ is...”

Baker paused for effect, and the crowd was jumping up and down, unable to contain themselves. Sirius, Remus noticed, looked as though he might faint.

“... _Blaq Fag!!"_  

Remus, ever the quiet, unassuming young man stood up with Frank and Alice, who were jumping, clapping and cheering, and he smiled proudly as he applauded and let out a cheer or two of his own. He watched Sirius, Tonks, and the others climb onto the stage, and Remus wasn't sure whether they were going to faint or cry, when as they reached the host, a sudden realization hit him.

Sirius was leaving. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Songs used in this chapter: Emigre by Anti-Flag, Ruby Soho by Rancid, Fuck Authority by Pennywise, Depression by Black Flag, Coin-Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls, and Ukulele Anthem by Amanda Palmer. Tonks and Sirius's onstage argument stolen almost word for word from The Real McKenzies' live album, Shine Not Burn.
> 
> I'd just like to note that I love emotive hxc, but in this fic Sirius is a bit of a pretentious douchebag and I know tons of punkrockers who loathe emo in all its forms, I'm not deliberately trying to badmouth emo ^.^;


	9. Anchors Aweigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so sorry for the delay with posting this. This has by far been the biggest pain in my ass because I hit a certain point in it my brain just shut down and I got killer writer's block.
> 
> This is technically the final chapter, the following one is the Epilogue, which I'm posting at the same time, because generally Epilogues are shorter, so waiting a few weeks for it didn't seem fair, especially when getting my brain to work on this was like pulling teeth. Please enjoy, and thanks for reading(and for being patient with me!). :)
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to reader Gloluja, for giving me the kick in the ass I needed to actually finish this damn thing. Thank you <3

Chapter 9 – Anchors Aweigh

 

_Anchors aweigh my friends, I'll see you another day_

_I'm going away, experiences have to come_

_And the past has got to go_

_Back into our dreams_

_Anchors Aweigh – The Bouncing Souls_

 

In the weeks to come, Remus spent an inordinate amount of time reassuring himself about Sirius's impending trip to America.

 

_It'll be fine, Sirius isn't one to stray._

 

_It'll be fine, it's only for six weeks. That isn't very long._

 

_It'll be fine, you still have two months until he has to leave._

 

But time was a funny thing, and Remus found that the more he tried to cling to the time that he had left with Sirius, the faster it seemed to drain away. It was somewhat of a relief that Harry seemed to be suffering similarly, and he seemed positively distraught that his godfather was taking off for a few weeks.

“B-but that's a really long time, Uncle Sirius,” Harry sniffed, “Forty-four days is a _long_ time. Can I come with you?”

Remus chuckled at the little boy on Sirius's knee, and Moony wandered into the sitting room where the trio had congregated. He seemed to sense Harry's anguish and made a beeline for the little boy, promptly resting his enormous head in Harry's lap. It was two days before Sirius was due to leave, and as the realization that Sirius was taking off became more real, Harry had begun to ask Sirius if he could accompany him more and more often.

“I wish I could, Harry, but your mum and dad would kill me,” Sirius replied while he reached down to ruffle Moony's fur, “besides, you need to stick around to make sure Remus doesn't get too lonely.”

Harry wiped his eyes and reached down for Moony, whose tail thumped loudly against the side of the sofa at all the attention he was getting.

“I can come over every day and play with Moony, right Remus?” Harry asked, his eyes wide and gleaming hopefully.

“'Course you can,” Remus answered at once with a soft chuckle, and Harry looked like Remus had just informed him that he'd won the lottery. Harry mimicked Sirius by ruffling the dog's thick fur, and grinned when Moony poked out the tip of his tongue to lick the back of his hand.

 

As evening began to set in, Sirius got up and shepherded Harry towards the door, pausing long enough to kiss Remus goodbye while Harry pulled on his rain jacket by himself.

“I'll be by later, the band needs to go over some stuff, but I should be here before nine, yeah?” The glint in Sirius's eye told Remus that he had _one_ thing on his mind, and he grinned a little as he leant in to kiss him again.

“Take your time, there's no rush.”

 

Remus watched them from the door, his arms crossed, Harry bouncing down the walkway like there were springs attached to his feet, and even at a distance Remus could hear the low thrum of Sirius's warm laughter.

The pair got into James's ancient '97 Honda (Lily point-blank refused to let Harry ride on Sirius's motorcycle), and it was only after they pulled out of the drive and sped off did Remus meander back inside with Moony at his heels.

Given that he had about three hours to kill before Sirius got back, Remus took his time feeding Moony, then transported his printed-out copy of the first draft of his thesis from his bedroom. He had intended to bring it back to the sitting room to go over it in relative comfort, but when he got there he found that Moony had already taken up residence upon the sofa.

Unfortunately, that meant Moony was taking up the _entire_ sofa.

“Moony, get off,” Remus said to the dog, and the command was met with Moony letting out a whine while attempted to roll on his back in a plaintive position, but he seemed to have forgotten how big he was, and promptly slid off the sofa with a dull _flump_.

Snickering to himself, Remus nudged the large dog with his prosthetic, and the enormous creature slid across the carpet bonelessly. Remus then curled up on the sofa, thesis and a red pen in hand, and got to work.

In between Sirius and Moony, both of whom were shameless attention whores, it was a miracle that Remus got any work done at all. No sooner had he sat back down, Moony had climbed back up and wiggled halfway onto Remus's lap.

“Moony, you're not a lap dog, get _off,_ ” he grumbled, caught halfway between amusement and annoyance. When he didn't move, Remus drew out his mobile and snapped of a photo of the ridiculous dog, then promptly pushed him off the sofa, and with a defeated huff he lay down at Remus's feet.

His thesis momentarily abandoned, Remus composed a text to his boyfriend.

 

_You've had a bad influence on my dog._

 

Sirius answered almost at once.

 

_What did I do this time?_

 

Remus attached the photo to a text and added, _He has a constant need for attention, like a certain someone that I know._

He sent it off, and tried to settle into his thesis, but didn't get very far before he was interrupted by a responding text from Sirius.

 

_That dog is the most adorable fucker I've ever seen in my life. That is officially my mobile's new lock screen._

 

Remus laughed, but resisted answering as he turned back to his thesis, determined to get at least _some_ work done before Sirius got back to properly distract him.

 

Sirius's arrival was announced first by Moony jumping up and running to the window that looked out on the front garden, then it was closely followed by the distinct growl of Sirius's motorbike pulling into the drive. Moony barked excitedly as Remus got up to meet Sirius at the door.

“Welcome—” Remus began, but he was cut off mid-sentence as Sirius swept him into a heated kiss. Remus happily returned it, his fingers twining in the fabric of Sirius's T-shirt to draw it out a little longer, while they both ignored Moony, who was trying desperately to worm between them.

At last, Sirius pulled back with a chuckle, one hand still resting against the small of Remus's back as he turned to let the enormous dog jump up on him.

After a moment, Sirius pushed Moony off and stepped farther inside, allowing the door to snap shut behind him.

“I take it _someone_ missed me,” Sirius observed with a laugh as Moony stuck close to him, whining and bowing forward in a clear ' _let's play'_ stance.

“I think he got bored watching me try to edit my thesis,” Remus replied with a faint grin, “I suppose throwing a toy around is more fun than watching me stare at papers.”

“Just a bit,” Sirius said, then a flash of worry crossed his face. “Am I interrupting your study time? I'm being serious.”

“You're always Siri—”

“— _Don't_ say it,” Sirius cut in with a snort. “You are far too young to be making Dad Jokes.”

“Okay, fine,” Remus replied with a chuckle, “and no, you're not interrupting. I'll have plenty of time to finish it when you're in America performing and picking up groupies and things.”

“I've been living groupie-free for a while now,” Sirius replied with a grin, “I'm on the patch.”

“It's always good to seek help when you have a problem,” he answered with a laugh, and Sirius snorted.

The pair slowly meandered from the front hall and back to the sitting room with Moony hot on their heels. Remus moved his essay to the table, and Sirius flopped down onto the sofa while Remus went to the kitchen to make them each a tea.

Remus stood by the kettle, waiting for it to come to a boil, and he had been alone in the kitchen barely thirty seconds when Sirius came in to join him. He wrapped his arms around Remus's waist from behind and perched his head on Remus's shoulder, leaning in to brush his lips against his cheekbone just as the water began to hiss.

“How did I get so lucky to find someone like you?” Sirius murmured softly, and Remus felt his face grow a little warm.

“I've just got low standards,” he replied mildly, and Sirius snorted a laugh. Remus moved to rest his hands over Sirius's, “I'm going to miss this when you're away.”

Sirius's hold on him tightened, while Remus felt his stomach knot with guilt at the admittance. He didn't want to make Sirius feel guilty about leaving, but at the same time, it felt almost impossible to stay silent. “I'm excited for you,” he amended quickly, “but—”

Sirius spun him so quickly that he wobbled on his prosthetic, and he cut off any further explanations with a kiss.

“I know Remus,” he murmured, then kissed him again, “I'll miss you too...so much.” Sirius paused, then his mouth split into a grin, “but I promise to send you pictures _every_ day of where we are.”

“You don't have to send me pictures _every_ day,” Remus replied with a grin, “I trust you and everything, I'm not worried about that. I'll just...miss you.”

“You know, a cynical man might call you naïve for being so trusting,” Sirius remarked as the kettle began to whistle, and Remus reluctantly untangled himself from Sirius to pour the tea. To Sirius's comment, Remus simply smirked.

“I'll just have to re-cheat you with someone if that happens,” Remus replied as he handed over a dark blue mug, which Sirius accepted. “But I _know_ you, Sirius, you wouldn't do that.”

“No, I wouldn't,” Sirius agreed as Remus scooped up his own mug in one hand, the milk and sugar in the other, and the pair headed back to the sitting room.

In their absence, Moony had taken up residence on the sofa, stretched out to completely occupy the piece of furniture without really trying. The moment he caught sight of Remus stepping into the room, he let out a soft whine.

“ _Off_ , Moony,” Remus said sternly, and the dog whined again. Remus raised his eyebrows at the creature and took a purposeful step forward, and the dog very quickly got off the sofa.

“You _monster_ ,” Sirius said dramatically, and sat down on the side closest to where Moony had laid down, and reached down to scratch his ears.

“If I wasn't strict with him, he'd be a nightmare,” Remus replied as he sat down on the other side. “Because of his breed, if I didn't take him to heel right away, he'd walk all over me.”

“That's precisely why I live vicariously through other people's dogs,” Sirius said with a laugh, “I'm too much of a softie to be strict.”

“Yeah, I've kind of noticed that,” Remus replied as he turned his attention to his tea, plucking out the teabag and drowning the brew in milk, “no wonder Harry's so spoiled.”

“Oi! As godfather, it is my sworn duty to spoil Harry rotten. James and Lily are the ones that need to worry about being real parents with him,” Sirius replied simply, and Remus snorted a little.

“Your logic does not resemble our earth logic.”

Sirius chuckled a little, but beyond that he didn't verbally respond. Instead, he chose to shift his position on the sofa before he promptly tugged Remus backward to settle him between his thighs. Remus felt himself flush a little at the feeling of the half hard cock that was pressing against the small of his back, and laughed softly as Sirius tickled the back of his neck with soft kisses.

“Feels nice...” Remus mumbled as he closed his eyes, and smiled when Sirius's hands trailed down his sides to slip under the hem of his jumper. He yelped, though it escaped him more like a high squeak as he squirmed away from him. “Your hands are cold!”

“Well you'll just have to warm them up for me,” Sirius purred, and nipped at the side of his throat. Though Remus couldn't see him, he could all but hear the grin in his voice.

“That's not one of your best lines,” Remus quipped, and Sirius snorted in response.

“Well, I'll just have to find _some_ way to redeem myself...” Sirius murmured, trailing off as his tongue began to map the side and back of Remus's neck, and his hands dropped from under Remus's jumper to give his bum a firm squeeze.

Remus groaned, and turned his head to meet Sirius in an awkward kiss. Tea forgotten, Remus felt like he was drowning in Sirius—the scent of him, the taste of him, and the _feel_ of him. His heart seemed to swell, and a soft whimper escaped past his lips.

“I love you,” Remus whispered as they broke the kiss, and Sirius eyes seemed to shine a little brighter.

“I love you too,” Sirius whispered before he kissed him again.

“Want to move this to the bedroom?” Remus asked softly, “I mean, I'm really comfortable, but kissing you like this is kind of giving me a crick in the neck...”

“I thought you'd never ask,” Sirius replied with a grin, and waited for Remus to pull himself up before he followed suit, and the pair hastened from the sitting room, down the hall, and to Remus's bedroom.

The door had barely closed behind them before Sirius's lips found Remus's, and Remus found himself pinned against the wall, the warmth of Sirius's body moulding to his. Remus let out a soft, plaintive moan, and reached up to hook his arms around the taller man's neck.

“Remus...” Sirius whispered his name like a prayer, and trailed his hands up Remus's sides, pausing at his face to allow his rough fingers to map out the shape of Remus's his cheeks and jaw, then trailed them down his front, as though he was determined to commit every line of Remus's body to memory.

“Please...” Remus whimpered, and felt his heart jump into his throat as his breath hitched. There was a sudden pull in the pit of his stomach he had not felt in a very long time, and the swell of emotion he felt was nearly overwhelming. _Why do I feel like I'm going to cry?_ He wondered, but was given little time to ponder this as he reached for Sirius, drawing his mouth away from the line of his throat to kiss him again.

“Remus,” Sirius murmured, breaking the kiss, his eyes flicking open to stare intently at him. “Can...can you do something for me...tonight, I mean?”

Remus regarded Sirius oddly for a moment. Sirius sounded uncertain, almost self-conscious. It was a strange thing to see in him, especially considering Sirius's usual casual confidence was something Remus was more accustomed to seeing. “What is it?”

“Can you make love to me?” Sirius asked, and his cheeks flushed a faint pink. “I want something to remember you by when I go...God, I'm going to miss you so much.” His eyes became a little glassy, as the rushed request and subsequent explanation tumbled out of his mouth, and with a chuckle, Remus leant in to kiss him again.

“It's a tall order, but somehow I think I can suffer through it,” Remus replied with a chuckle, and Sirius's entire demeanour brightened at once. They kissed one last time, and Remus drew it out as long as he could, then dropped his hands from Sirius's shoulders to close over one of his hands, and led him to the bed.

When they had reached it, Remus pulled Sirius in for another kiss, then reached for the hem of Sirius's T-shirt, peeling the garment off in one fluid motion, and paused their kiss just long enough to tug the garment the rest of the way off.

He trailed his fingers over the intricate designs inked into Sirius's skin, then stopped short when he noticed the design on his shoulder, and how it looked a little different than the last time Remus had seen it. In particular, there was a new design added to it, which Remus knew had to have been done in the last few days, given how the skin was raised slightly, flushed red, and scabbed over. When Remus leant in to investigate it more closely, he gasped, and reached out a hand to touch it, but stopped short, not wanting to aggravate the new tattoo, and moved his hand to rest just below it.

A detailed depiction of Moony had been worked in with the dog and family of deer.

“Sirius...” Remus whispered, unable to take his eyes off the addition, and above him, he heard Sirius's throaty chuckle.

“I wanted to surprise you. Do you like it?”

“It's beautiful, but isn't that bad luck or something?” Remus asked with a soft chuckle, “like now that you've done that we're doomed to fail or something?”

“That's matching tattoos, for this I think we're safe,” Sirius replied, then added, “I love you, Remus. I can't envision my life without you. I'm not worried that I'll need to invest in tattoo removal.”

“I love you too, Sirius,” Remus leant in and ghosted his lips over the tattoo, avoiding the new design so as to not aggravate it. He felt Sirius's muscle twitch under the light touch, then leant back up to kiss him again.

Sirius pulled Remus into his lap, and he balanced his knees on either side of Sirius's hips, while the brunet went about ridding Remus of his topmost articles of clothing. His hands ran up and along Remus's abdomen, and the tickling sensation caused him to suck his stomach in, earning Remus a soft laugh from his partner.

“Ticklish?” Sirius asked, breathing the question against Remus's mouth rather than ask it properly.

“You know that I am, you prat,” Remus replied, his own hands dropping to the silver belt buckle at Sirius's groin, earning him a sharp gasp.

“Remus, please...” Sirius murmured, and their tongues twisted together as Remus fumbled with the belt.

It took a minute of awkward manoeuvring before Remus was able to undo the belt, jeans button, and the zip, but before he was able to dive his hand into Sirius's pants for his prize, Sirius arched up and wiggled out of both garments, keeping a hand at Remus's back to keep him from falling out of his lap. He kicked the jeans across the room, then grinned up at his boyfriend.

“You take the fun out of everything,” Remus said with a soft grin, “I wanted to chew through your pants.”

“Not bloody likely,” Sirius replied with a soft snort, “I happen to _like_ those briefs, I don't want you to ruin them.”

“Spoilsport,” Remus murmured as he descended on Sirius to kiss him again.

The couple shifted farther onto the bed, and Sirius helped Remus out of his brown corduroys and briefs, then paused to rest his hand just above the prosthetic's liner.

“May I?” Sirius asked tentatively, and Remus nodded before proceeding to show Sirius how to detach the limb, then he peeled off the liner, being more careful when he set it aside than he had been with their other garments of clothing. He leant down and ghosted a kiss over the amputation site, then moved to kiss Remus properly.

The swell of emotion returned to Remus, and he felt tears prick his eyes.

At first, he couldn't work out why he felt like he was about to cry, but then after a half-beat Remus realized: no one had ever accepted his amputee status so completely before. When his ex-lovers hadn't storm off like Gilderoy had, they never seemed to have the nerve to bring it up, much less touch it. With Sirius however, he readily accepted that it was part of who Remus _was,_ and never questioned it or shied away from it.

Remus's hold on Sirius tightened, and his kisses became more feverish. He could feel Sirius smiling into the kiss as he rolled on the mattress, coaxing Remus to straddle him, with his hands on Remus's hips to help keep him balanced. Remus followed his lead, and shivered when he felt his erection brush against Sirius's.

“I love you, Sirius,” Remus whispered against his mouth, flushed, swollen and damp from their enthusiastic snogging.

Sirius reached up and carded his fingers through Remus's hair, and his eyelids fluttered shut at the touch. “I love you too, Remus. So much.”

Remus kissed him one last time, then with Sirius's hands at his hips to help him keep his balance, he leant over Sirius to his bedside table, and extracted a condom and his tube of lubricant from the top drawer.

He squeezed a small measure of the lube onto his fingers and spread it out, then after coaxing Sirius's thighs apart his fingers dropped to his entrance. Remus smiled to himself at Sirius's little gasp, likely in response to the cool temperature of the lube more than anything, and very slowly began to wiggle a solitary finger into him.

“Not...I'm not made of glass, Remus,” Sirius whispered, his neck arched and head pressed back into the bedspread, clearly balanced precariously between losing himself to the sensation, and telling Remus what he needed. “You can go faster than that.”

“If you insist,” Remus replied with a small chuckle, and added a second finger. Sirius groaned under him, his arse clenching deliciously around Remus's fingers, and Remus felt his cock twitch in response.

Remus spent precious little time preparing Sirius before he lifted the condom to his mouth, ripped the packaging open with his teeth, and handed it to Sirius.

“Put it on me.”

Remus felt Sirius shiver under him at the command, and with his bottom lip caught between his teeth, Sirius accepted the condom. He pinched the tip, then with soft, delicate touches, he rolled it into place.

Remus smiled warmly at Sirius one last time, then he rested a hand on his hip, silently coaxing Sirius to roll over. He complied immediately, pillowing his head on his arms, with his arse raised high in the air. Remus had to bite back a laugh at the eager, debauched position Sirius had bent himself into, and reached out to give his arse a sharp squeeze, earning him a sharp gasp of surprise, then reached around Sirius to grab a pillow to even out his stance by tucking it under him, then positioned himself and pressed the tip of his cock against Sirius's hole.

He slid in slowly; each small movement was met with a groan from Sirius, and he pressed back to meet Remus's cock, while he clenched around it in a delicious vice. Remus grunted, trembling at the sensation, and paused when he had fully sheathed himself inside him.

“Damn it, Remus,” Sirius muttered hoarsely, “if you don't get on with it, I won't bring you back any souvenirs.”

“Oh however will I cope without souvenirs,” Remus muttered in the same tone with a note of sarcasm in his voice, but all the same began to move, rocking his hips slowly at first, then picking up his pace as Sirius began to moan very much like like a wanton whore.

Sirius clenched around Remus's cock again, and the sensation was almost enough to leach an orgasm from Remus on the spot. He grunted as he picked up his pace, panting harshly with every thrust, while Sirius moved with him. His entire body was trembling, and Remus adjusted his position ever so slightly. This proved to be the right thing to do, as on his next thrust his cock hit Sirius's prostate dead-on.

Sirius cried out and threw his head back, his long hair clinging to his shoulders and neck, and promptly came all over Remus's sheets.

A few more punishing thrusts, and Remus found his own release. He pressed himself against Sirius's back as he caught his breath, and slowly extracted his cock from the confines of his arse, then the pair collapsed onto the bed.

“Remus...God...” Sirius panted, “that was... _amazing._ ” He rolled over, and kissed Remus lightly, but he was only able to meet Sirius's words with a grin. He snuggled closer, content to hold onto Sirius, all wet and sticky before they got up to clean themselves off.

Sirius ghosted a kiss against Remus's forehead as he folded himself into Sirius's arms, and he felt tears prick his eyes again.

“I'm going to miss this,” Remus murmured, and winced when his voice cracked.

“Oh, Remus,” Sirius moved a hand under Remus's chin, forcing his gaze up to meet his. Silvery grey met amber, and Remus felt a little better when he saw that it seemed as though Sirius was on the verge of tears as well. “It's only for a month and a half. I'll be back before you know it.

They held each other, exchanging sleepy kisses while the both tried to keep from crying, and at the door, Moony's whine broke the mood, and they both laughed, finally getting up to clean themselves (and the bed) up before they snuggled back in together, with the enormous dog at their feet.

 

~*~

 

The day had finally come, and despite all his emotional preparation for it, Remus still did not feel ready for it. It was a small comfort that at least Harry felt about as prepared for it as Remus was.

“Aw, don't cry, Harry,” Sirius said gently as he pulled the boy into a hug. “I'll be back before you know it.”

“B-but I don't want you to leave, what if you never come back?” Harry asked softly, his breath escaping him as a weak hiccough.

“I _will_ come home, Harry. Home is where ever you, your mum and dad, and Remus are. I can't be home that far away,” Sirius replied softly, though Harry didn't seem to completely understand the sentiment. Sirius hugged the little boy one last time, and straightened up to face Remus.

“I guess I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow,” Sirius said softly, and Remus felt his throat grow tight.

“Just remember when you want to come home, you just click your heels three times...” Remus broke off as his voice caught. “Damn, and I was trying so hard to be all stiff-upper-lippy.”

Sirius chuckled, and leant in to kiss Remus softly. At the same time, he pressed something small into Remus's hand.

“I'll be back before you know it,” he murmured softly, “look at that when you get home.”

 

“ _Flight 287 from London to New York City now boarding.”_

 

The automated female voice sounded above them, and snapped Sirius and Remus out of their daze.

“Damn, I've got to go.” He pulled Remus into a kiss, and hugged him tightly. “I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll text you as soon as I land.”

“I love you too, Sirius,” Remus replied with a soft chuckle, and kissed him one last time. “Don't worry about us, get out there and show America how brilliant you are.”

Sirius flashed him a grin, then moved to offer a hug to Harry, Lily, and James, then hurried for the gate to join his bandmates, glancing back one last time to smile at his little family, then disappeared inside.

Remus allowed his faint, forced smile to fall as he dropped his gaze at last to his hand, and saw that Sirius had pressed a white USB key into his palm. He tucked it into his pocket as he lifted his gaze to the line of passengers still trickling through the gate.

 

Remus stood there and watched until the aeroplane took off, and it was only when he could no longer see it did he turn to the others. Harry was perched in his mother's arms, tears streaming down his cheeks and his bottom lip quivering badly while Lily tried to console him.

“Hey Harry,” Remus said gently, pleased that he managed to keep his voice steady, “if your mum and dad are okay with it, why don't you come by tomorrow and spend some time with Moony? I know he'd love to see you. Would you like that?”

Smiling weakly, Harry nodded.

 

~*~

  

It was another two hours before Remus got home, and after letting Moony out and fishing his chocolate and peanut butter ice-cream from the freezer, he wandered into his bedroom. He booted up the laptop, and plugged in the USB key. When it opened, Remus saw that the key contained one audio file titled, _For Remus_.

Curiosity piqued, Remus clicked on it, and at once Sirius's voice bled from his speakers.

“ _Remus,”_ Sirius said, _“I wanted you to have something to remember me by, so that even though we'll be apart for a little while, know that I'll be thinking about you the whole time. Nothing and no one could replace you, and I love you. Lily helped me pick out a love song for you, since I don't exactly know that many...I hope that you like it.”_

Remus smiled a small, watery smile as he listened, and a soft acoustic guitar was struck up, then a moment later Sirius's lovely singing voice joined it.

 

“ _Love of mine, someday you will die,_

_But I'll be close behind,_

_I'll follow you into the dark._

_No blinding light, or tunnels to gates of white,_

_Just our hands clasped so tight,_

_Waiting for the hint of a spark._

 

_If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied,_

_Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs._

_If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark._

 

_In Catholic School, as vicious as Roman rule,_

_I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black._

_And I held my tongue as she told me, “son, fear is the heart of love.”_

_So I never went back._

 

_If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied,_

_Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs._

_If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark._

 

_You and me have seen every fantasy,_

_From Bangkok to Calgary,_

_And the soles of your shoes are all worn down,_

_The time for sleep is now, it's nothing to cry about,_

_Cause we'll hold each other soon._

 

_The blackest of rooms_

 

_If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied,_

_Illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs._

_If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,_

_Then I'll follow you into the dark._

 

_I'll follow you into the dark.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Song in this chapter: I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab For Cutie


	10. Epilogue: London Calling

Epilogue – London Calling

 

_London calling, yeah I was there too_

_An' you know what they said? Well some of it was true_

_London calling, at the top of the dial_

_After all this, won't you give me a smile?_

_London Calling – The Clash_

 

Six weeks had never seemed like a significantly long period of time to Remus, but without Sirius, it felt as long as an eternity.

Of course, Remus never said this aloud, he didn't need Alice, Lily, or James telling him that he was being overdramatic—he knew he was. However, Sirius's endless stream of texts, photo, and video messages certainly helped quell some of the sting.

 

_NEW YORK. It's brilliant here, miss you already. All the American food stereotypes aren't exaggerated, the servings over here are HUGE._

 

_Remus, you have to see San Francisco, the bloody hills in this city defy all laws of physics. I'm amazed that the bus hasn't flipped over yet._

 

_Oh my god, Vancouver. I swear I saw whatshisname from the Gilmore Girls. It's like Hollywood up here. And they call weed Vancouver Cigarettes. It's wild._

 

_Kansas is so boring, no wonder Dorothy was so miserable._

 

_Some prick in a cowboy hat called me a queer while leaning halfway out of his pickup. Not sure I like Calgary._

 

_Montreal is making my head hurt. Everything is in bastardized French, and I feel like I'm somewhere in Europe. The architecture here is so effing weird. I am so dragging you to this city again, it's brilliant here._

 

Every photograph attached to the texts either included Sirius eating something, or standing with his back to some sort of landmark. Remus felt a faint twinge of jealousy with every one, it looked like Sirius was having the time of his life.

During Remus's days off from work, Harry spent a lot of time sprawled on the carpet of his sitting room, giggling as he threw toys for Moony, who trotted off to fetch them back for the little boy. Harry would then enthusiastically throw himself at the dog in a huge hug, and would almost disappear into Moony's thick fur.

Remus sent as many photographs of Harry, Moony, himself, or some combination of the three to Sirius as he received. In some ways, despite the lack of his physical presence, it felt almost as though Sirius had never left.

At long last, the six weeks were but a memory, and he stood in Heathrow Airport with James, Lily, and Harry at his side, awaiting for Sirius's triumphant return. James and Lily appeared calm and content, as though waiting for Sirius to return was no big deal. Harry on the other hand once more seemed to be a physical representation of Remus's excitement to lay eyes on Sirius again. He was bouncing from foot to foot excitedly, and asked James every few minutes for the time—if he managed to wait that long.

“What time is it, Dad?”

“It's four thirty-three,” James replied as he consulted his phone. Harry fell silent and looked out to the gate, then back to his father.

“What time is it now?”

“Still four thirty-three,” James replied with a soft chuckle.

“Oh.” Harry gazed back at the gate, his expression a little sulky.

At that moment however, people began to flood out of the gate they stood at, and Remus's breath caught as he recognized Sirius's bandmates making their exit, all of them looking half-asleep, and very pale in their exhaustion.

Tonks stepped out, second to last, and at last—he was there.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, almost unaware that he had spoken aloud, and as though he had heard Remus speak, Sirius looked up and met his gaze, and his expression immediately brightened.

His rucksack bouncing on his shoulders, Sirius ran, following the glass partition, and Remus ran forward to meet him. His gait was slower and more awkward than Sirius's was, but he barely noticed as they met at the exit and enveloped each other in a tight embrace.

At last, Sirius had come home.

As Remus clung to Sirius, sharing kisses and both more than a little weepy, he felt it too.

He _was_ home.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Doing this fic was supposed to be short fluff, and an ode to my love of this genre of music. It got a little longer than I had expected, and I hope with it that I may have turned a couple people on to bands that they may not have heard of before. If anyone is curious, you can click [**here**](http://8tracks.com/soemoicrystars/sing-along-forever-a-wolfstar-fanfic) for an 8tracks playlist, which includes all the songs in this fic in order of appearance, as well as five honourable mentions to bands I couldn't work into the fic itself (Bad Religion, Flogging Molly, The Misfits, Refused, and Dead Kennedys). 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, thank you for taking the time to give this little fic a chance. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your comments, kudos, and bookmarks. I read every comment, and they always brighten my day, even though I'm shit at responding to them. 
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> xox James


End file.
